Celebrating Not Celebrating

I felt almost self-centered and guilty, this past Wednesday.  To be honest, it wasn't just "an ordinary day" for me like so many claimed for them.  Wednesday is the day I usually tend to town business, so even though I don't observe the man-made traditions of our culture, it really was still a "holiday" for me, in that it was not my ordinary Wednesday.   I couldn't conduct business as usual last Wednesday and I felt a bit irresponsible at first . . . Then I got this wild idea to simply enjoy the freedom!

One of my main character flaws has always been a strong feeling of guilt and responsibility.  That's been one of the most difficult things for me to overcome.  Guilt just comes so naturally for me, but Romans 8:1 is pretty clear that I am to stop entertaining that "self-focused" fleshly attitude.  That isn't permission to act like I have no conscience of course, just stop feeling so stinking guilty!  I was raised to be very awkward and dysfunctional so, technically, I am a success!  Seriously though, I found myself feeling a bit at a loss Wednesday, in being responsibility free.

I've been out of man-made mainstream traditions for so long, my Grandchildren have never seen a television or holiday tree in my home, so I'm not faced with the family pressure many are this time of year, as they come out from among them and are separate.  It did take one of my daughters making a complete mockery of Hanukkah for me to stop some of those traditions, but that was also quite freeing.  I still light candles on what some of the self-proclaiming rabbis are saying are wrong menorahs, but they don't come to my home to celebrate, anyway.  One of my daughters managed to get here for some of Hanukkah and that was such a sweet time of just enjoying the specialness of how great our G-d is.

One of my favorite memories will be how we had started the Hanukkah CD as we headed to the dining area, but were side tracked momentarily.  By the time we were gathered round the table, the track containing the prayers was beginning.  That had such special timing and meaning, we timed it to synchronize the rest of the week.

There are many things I've taught my children and grandchildren that are not doctrine and no more than family traditions, but I don't believe all traditions are pagan.  Music and food are wonderful ways for children of all ages to learn and remember.   I hope to have a family gathering soon for Hanukkah in which we all are gathered round the table to sing the prayers right along with the CD.  I've enjoyed Shabbat dinners with my grandchildren in the spring when the eggs are abundant, in which we bake an angel food cake, and discuss Psalm 78, specifically verse 25.

I chose to not celebrate "not celebrating" last Wednesday, but rather chose to celebrate the freedom of no business trip to town with "working on a project" that has been on a back burner for awhile.  It was not to abolish Torah that Messiah came, but really did come to set us free of the requirements and guilt of humanity!
Blotting out the handwriting of ordinances that was against us, which was contrary to us, and took it out of the way, nailing it to his cross;  the writings of Paul in Colossians 2:14

Sin in a Hot Bath

Realizing the title sounds rather questionable, I'll begin right away by saying this is a parable.   I Corinthians 6:19 came to my spirit after this incident and although it certainly isn't the same temptation for all of us, I am led to believe we can all relate in some way.

For many, a hot bath is a relaxing way to ease tension, relax, wash the hectic day away, and get clean all at the same time.  For someone with MS, it can be a very unhealthy endeavor, and as a child of YHWH, my body is not my own.  Back when I still thought I could have faith in G-d and medicine, I was diagnosed with MS.  One of the first things the doctor told me was no hot baths.  I've been pretty conscientious about that for years, but a couple of weeks ago, in our unseasonably cool, cold spell, I just couldn't get warm.  So, I decided just one little "warm" bath wouldn't hurt.  Compromise really is the threshold to sin.

I'm sure you can guess what happened next.  I got used to the temperature, but it didn't really feel warm, so I added more hot water.  This can be dangerous for a person with nervous system issues, but the danger didn't even enter my head.  The only thought that entered my head was one of instant pleasure.  I had a good book to read, so just leave that hot water trickling on into the tub . . .  By the time it dawned upon me what I was really doing to my body, it was almost too late to have the strength to get out.  The hot water had so weakened me.  Sin always leaves us in a weakened condition . . .

Just like any sin we toy with in our lives, the effects can be lingering.  Even a couple of weeks later, and after several regular showers, some of the effects of that bad choice continue to serve as reminders.  That's the way it is with sin in our lives.  It's so easy to give up the "big sins," it's the little compromises that we justify, that end up causing the problems.  The little things that aren't really so bad, they just aren't good . . .  the little foxes, that spoil the vines . . .

What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of G-d, and ye are not your own?  For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify G-d in your body, and in your spirit, which are G-d's.

4F

According to Wikipedia, 4F, Is a military classification under the United States' Selective Service System for candidates found to be unfit for military service after formal examination by the Entrance Processing Command

I've never been in the military, but I'm sure, not only am I too old, I would be 4F.  According to even my definition, I'm 4F, which is full figured and fifty-five.  I've been doing some thinking about health and life expectancy and mandated health insurance, and after last Wednesday, I've made a few decisions.  I am absolutely certain I do not want any medical intervention in the form of health care, so I'll pay the tax.  I can't expect my Heavenly Father to take care of my health, if I don't do what I can to take care of my body.  That means exercise and a healthy kosher diet.  It also means, less stress, more rest, and more Bible time.

The other day, not the day of my "spells" but the day after, really got me thinking.  First, at 55 with a history of heart attacks in the men in my family, not to mention my fullness of figure, I'm guessing I would have been quite the test patient in the ER.  Add to my age and history, an MS diagnosis and the fact that I have not been seen by a doctor since before 9/11.   I'm guessing I'd have at least spent the night in ICU with all sorts of tubes and wires.  The next morning, if I'd have awakened, there would undoubtedly have been a plethora of tests scheduled and a myriad of specialists to see.  Knowing about King Asa, I may not have awakened had I sought physicians, rather than YHWH, but if I had, I cannot imagine the battery of tests and procedures planned.

As that Thursday continued to unfold, with no further symptoms, I gave thanks that fear of death is really not a part of my life.  I also realized a great confidence in just paying the mandated tax.  Medicare tax is figured out of my income, and I don't use that either, so I really don't see any difference.  

I am not a doctor and I don't play one on TV but I was able to piece together an incident that may have contributed to my situation that Wednesday.  Monday afternoon, I had taken an Epsom Salts bath and used it with conditioner.  Our skin is our largest organ and it does absorb into our blood stream that which is rubbed on or added to a bath.  I even posted my trauma about the hair incident, but as I read about magnesium sulfate, it could be I simply had overdone in the bath tub as well.  

I am grateful to have been shown what I saw this week and very thankful that I didn't make the choice King Asa made.  I don't want to stand before my Maker because I lacked faith, I want to stand before Him because my numbered days are accomplished and it's time to clock out and go home!

Marital Advice

I don't usually offer marital advice, as I am more the embodiment of an "horrible warning!"  When it comes to discussing relationships, I really have nothing to bring to the table.  Recently, it has occurred to me, many others are also in the same situation or doubting themselves and so I feel compelled to share what I do know.

I determined years ago that I really did not want to grow up and be like my mother.  I love my mom, but I'm not like her and everyone she did compare me to, she didn't like so much, so . . . Then there was the whole project of tearing down my self-esteem so I wouldn't be vain, or that's what she said.  Sadly, I think it made me much more focused on my appearance, but extremely awkward and inferior about it.  So, when someone treated me like I was pretty, I thought I better keep that guy around!  I wasn't walking with G-d through most of my marital calamities, but thankfully most of the men were good men . . . not G-dly men, but men with good jobs and with the exception of two, were not abusive.

Through the years of serving G-d, I've come to learn a bit about myself.  I am not the average feminine woman, and that's okay, I'm not a feminist either.  I am a woman who really is not defined by my sexuality.  I am simply a child of Elohim.  If a gender definition is required, I would call myself a platonic heterosexual, which suits me perfectly.  I wish I'd realized this several years and several marriages ago . . . I believe there are many people of both genders who would truly prefer companionship or friendship over romance, but the problem arises when individuals try to live up to social expectations.  Our society still has a number of gender specific rules that really do not align with G-d's Word at all, but rather have originated in movies and psychology class.

I think Biblical marriage sounds awesome, but our society doesn't really adhere to that concept, and the Bible doesn't support a woman leading a husband, so I am honest enough to say, I don't know how it's done.  I do know, how it's not done!   In reading the Biblical accounts of marriage and relationships, there is strong indication that these Biblical couples did not spend every spare moment together.  Actually, our society affords more spare moments than Biblical days, and that may be to the detriment of what could be good relationships.  With casual dating and instant credit, building a life together isn't really how things are done anymore!

The main point I want to make in this is that being single does not mean dating or martial failure, it may simply mean single success.  When someone is single, it doesn't mean they haven't "found" their soul mate, it could simply mean they are single.  I know for a fact, there are many marriages that take place between people who are not soul mates.  In my humble opinion, and that's all it is, a partner on the same path would be the foundation for a good relationship.  Young people going the same direction, or more mature individuals who are already established in the same lifestyle would appear to have the best chances of a successful marriage.

Some people are a perfect fit, not perfect; but perfect for each other, and I applaud them.  Others of us may not be part of a pair, and that is not failure.  People are successful when they are obedient to G-d's plan for their lives, and He is the one who sets the standard for what is success.

Social Media

Thanks to social media, many personality disorders now seem to be elevated to self-proclaimed virtue and pious authority.  Before social media, there were a few taboo subjects that folks avoided or at least chose to let pass without comment, but no more.  It seems everything requires comment, and frequently, correction.

In this revelation, I must admit I was guilty last year of taking the bait a couple of times and staying in a discussion longer than need be to arrive at a ridiculous dead end, feeling rather foolish.  It was just shortly after the first of 2013 I realized how similar social media seemed to dysfunctional family gatherings.  It's amazing how many teachers, pastors, rabbis, and Bible scholars there are, who are just entirely too knowledgeable to participate in any level of discussion amongst piers.  Not to leave out experts in ares of non-religious fields, because I've seen that too, but most of my discussion attempts on social media are of a spiritual topic, with overtones of current events.

We all believe we have valuable information to contribute, but it really doesn't take long to realize, three things.  Some folks just need to be heard, some folks really believe everyone needs to hear them, and the one with the last word is not necessarily right.

Many of us participating in social media are not terribly successful, socially; which could account for the amount of time available for social media.  While others are quite sociable and have expanded their social skills and success to yet another venue.  I truly admire those folk of social ease!  I know for myself, I am not terribly at ease in social settings.  When in social settings, I find myself very conscious of the potential to place my foot in my mouth.  I pray a lot before attending any gathering.

Internet social media with a delete button has taken some of the edge off my anxiety.  I prefer to be able to see my thoughts outside of my head before my words become airborne, never again to be regathered.  Even in proof reading, I still manage typos and awkward expression, but for the most part, I've learned to just avoid the discussions in which some folks prefer to be offended.

It seems, social media is one more venue, in which we humans find folks of similar interests and beliefs, as well as folks we don't, and in true human form, we behave the same way on line as we do on the telephone or in any social setting.  We all have people we prefer and people we don't.  As a believer, I do very much want to love everybody, but liking them is an entirely different matter.

What Others See

We hear over and over in religious circles that we shouldn't care what others think of us, but many of us don't think much of ourselves.  Of course, this is reversed as well.  There are some people, when I see how highly they regard themselves, I have thought to myself, "what do they see when they look in the mirror, that I'm obviously missing?"  I've gone through life feeling really badly about myself and I know it's had an impact on many areas of my life that could have been so much different.  Feeling unattractive really does affect the way we present ourselves.  Two things changed when watching this video.  One, the realization that many of us see ourselves much more negatively than others do.  Two, I am absolutely in love with this artist for doing this!

http://www.upworthy.com/2-people-described-the-same-person-to-a-forensic-artist-and-this-is-what-happene?g=2

Living

The other morning, as I prepared for my "Ribbon Cutting" with the local Chamber of Commerce, I felt like a debutante preparing for a cotillion.   It may seem a bit late, but it's not quite been 20 years since I began following Messiah, so regardless of the silver locks, I'm still quite a young princess.  My first book signing, wasn't until I was 40.  The first Shemitah of my homesteading years, I turned 50, and I learned "jubilee" in Scriptural context is more than an anniversary, which it is, but the year of jubilee is also about the opportunity of perpetuity in liberty and freedom.  Jubilee is not just an anniversary to look back, but a new beginning, as well!  My 50th year on the planet was not at all what I expected, but as turns out, it was even better than my expectations.  Yet I digress.  Back to the Ribbon Cutting and my debut.

I am not exactly the image of American beauty and femininity.  I'm far from the image of matronly mainstream, but I have my niche.  YHWH actually created me for just this life and lifestyle, and loves me so much, He's allowed me to know His Name and share it with others.  He also allows me to call Him, Abba, and His Son calls me, chosen.  As I prepared for this event, which may not seem like an event to many, but to a socially awkward individual, this was big!  I am creative and earthy, so I am completely at ease in sharing information about my products.  I truly care about people, but I'm horrible at small talk and terrible in the spotlight.  I am happy to answer questions and share knowledge, but I'm not a teacher.

It seems, I can easily identify myself by what I'm not.  What I've learned and continue to learn as I follow Messiah is, I do have a purpose and I've been blessed with many talents, reasonable intelligence, and much endurance.  This opportunity was exactly what it was supposed to be and I did what Abba intended for me to do.  The Ribbon Cutting was the way to meet people who need to meet Messiah and the way to discover the needs in the community, that have yet to be met.  My cards have Scripture on them, the bars of soap have Scripture on the labels, and the words of the Prophet proclaim, "The Word of YHWH does not return void."

Confirmation once again was presented as to Abba's words when I first answered His call to ministry and He told me to "do what's not being done."  The other day, one of the gentlemen at the Ribbon Cutting shook my hand and said, "This is wonderful for our community, there is nothing like this here!  You milk the goats for the goat milk soap, too, don't you?"  Living His Plan is truly living!

Reality

Reality and retrospect have converged in my life and I am truly thankful for what the King of the universe has done, in making me one of His daughters.  It seems I had to be declared a senior citizen in this culture for me to truly embrace the Plan YHWH has for me.  I've been serving Him for nearly 20 years, but it suddenly feels like the first few years were training.  I heard two very clear statements from YHWH, back in 1999, but the preparation did not happen overnight.

I find myself amazed at so many who have come into truth and instantly claim authority.  Not that I doubt that it can happen, it's just not something I can relate to.  But then I realize as I listen to these people, they had a confidence before they ever met Messiah, that I simply didn't have.  YHWH has been very patient with me, and thankfully, didn't allow me to have positions of authority that would have resulted in wrong teaching.  Wrong teaching has gained horrendous momentum, and yet; His truth stands forever.  As I look back over the years of preparation, I also find myself glimpsing even farther back, just something that was instrumental along the way, that I didn't realize at the time.

I'm truly thankful that I didn't have any confidence before I had confidence in Messiah.  I always knew I wasn't a beautiful woman, and I didn't exactly fit into any crowd, all along.  I wasn't ugly and I wasn't anti-social, just not like anybody else, and had no idea or appreciation at the time for how unique we all are.  Now, at 55, I have a different perspective.  I have the privilege of being the unique individual I am and walk in the confidence my Creator gave me.  I have the joy of appreciating others who are also unique.  I am also very thankful as time has moved on, that I didn't place my confidence in youthful beauty.  In looking in the mirror, I can honestly be thankful that I can't miss what I never had!

I am not writing this from a self-pity aspect at all.  I've always felt my best traits were in my talents and accomplishments. The truth is, I've always been told I have beautiful eyes, and they are unique to my complexion, but more than that, they are a light to my whole being and a window to my soul.  Y'hshuwah chose me and made my soul beautiful, even before I knew Him.   Although, what I do in my life, I am doing it as unto YHWH, but it is nice to hear that another life has been impacted positively with something I've done.  I've been blessed to have people come up and ask me if I'm me because they recognized my voice from my radio show, or leave comments at my blogs, or even call to let me know my latest book really touched them.  Being in business, I always enjoy a good report on one of my product lines.  All in all, those compliments mean so much more to me than, "Twenty-five years ago and you were just gorgeous!"

Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.  Proverbs 31:31

A Proverbs 31 Woman

When I first began to follow Messiah, I felt like there was just no job for me to do.  All these years later, I now feel like I'm about as busy as I can be and still get anything accomplished!  Do you ever have so much going on, it feels you're overlooking things?  As I purposely shuffled the new catalogue aside to upload the latest episode of BEFORE It Was HEADLINES It Was PROPHECY, I was aware that the catalogue needs to be done this week, and the store needs to be updated, and there are plans for the inventory room.  The business seems to be doing well, definitely meeting some needs, and there are a couple more new products in the works.  I'm excited to be able to offer natural health care products, and kosher soap with Scripture on the packaging, and a business to my descendants.  

Tomorrow a new pasture will be in existence here at Goshen.  Three sides are already fenced and I'm absolutely delighted to have help coming to assist me in accomplishing the end of the task.  Before you think I'm really amazing, I didn't do the three sides that are already in existence.  This last side is just a matter of connecting what's already there.

I walked past the green house this morning, opened the door to delight in the fact it is ready for winter!  And I now know for sure what rice looks like as it begins to grow.  Hopefully, I'll have at least enough of a rice harvest for seeds to plant.  I know I'm grimacing, just thinking about GMO rice containing human DNA as I type this.  After my failed attempt last spring, I'm thankful to have this project in the works now.

The Goshen Gazette has some wonderful contributors and our readership is increasing.  The canning is done and it looks like I will have plenty of writing projects for the winter.  I remember back a few projects ago, I thought for sure YHWH would be bringing more folks on board before now.  I bought the Five-Fold Ministry meeting table 3 1/2 years ago, thinking it would be in use by now . . .  Instead, my Father the King has increased what is to be established, and certainly made some serious changes in me.

I awaken before daylight and as I thought of the busy day, I heard the most wonderful words from my Abba.
"You said you wanted to be a Proverbs 31 Woman."

The Plan

Sometimes I don't feel very princessesque.  Even worse, sometimes I don't want to feel very princessesque.  Seems this time of year, I want to just kind of snuggle in for the winter in some uniquely layered ensemble and not even leave the place.  I've gotten to enjoy two winters, not consecutively, of doing what I call wribernating.  Since humans can't actually hibernate, I enjoy doing the next best thing.  I love to snuggle in next to the fire, drink coffee all day and write, thus wri/bernate.



There isn't really a very long winter season in my neck o' the woods.  Still not frost yet, in late October and the planting season officially begins February 14th.  So at most, there's only about 3 1/2 months, I'm not tending a garden, and usually the kids start arriving mid January.  Through my short winter hiatus I, of course, do chores, spend time with Abba, and maintain my online responsibilities, but coming very soon is the season in which I just enjoy a less than casual appearance that is not really fit for polite society.

When I see the photos of the northern states, I realize this could be why YHWH didn't call me there.  When I knew He was calling me to relocate, at first I didn't know if it was Montana or Southern Missouri.  He very quickly made sure I understood, north was not the intended direction.  When I read some of the comments of the other contributors who are up north, I just shake my head and snuggle in a bit further.  I have not driven in snow since 2004!  I'm not bragging or complaining, just very, very thankful.

Since living agriculturally, winter for me has a time of introspection and planning implementation.  The longer I serve YHWH, the more I've come to realize the original plan is not mine, but His.  He does, however; expect me to use the gifts and talents He placed in me to bring the plan to fruition.  I spent this past Shabbat alone in very restful contemplation.  I thanked my Heavenly Father for many things, and I communed with Y'hshuwah, but it's their day off too!  I just felt I didn't need to be too chatty and I didn't need any reassurance that I belonged to Him.  It really was an interesting day of rest.

Next spring will be a very important planting season, in that it is "preparation year."   I had no idea what I was doing last Shemitah, agriculturally speaking, and there was the usual debate about which year it was, but this time, I'm not entertaining the confusion.  I feel I've been preparing for this preparation year since I moved from the smaller place to this one.  My heart's desire is to simply be where my Abba wants me in His plan, even if that means snowed in til March or no wribernating at all!

A Guest Princess

We are so delighted to feature a guest contributor, Nancy King, here in Peculiar Princess.  Nancy shares so eloquently, what it is to be the daughter of the King of the universe.

I Am…

He says, I am His…                             

Princess Ideas

I am learning the best ideas, of course come from our King.  I am also learning, the best ideas come when they will meet a need.  The King of the Universe is very efficient!  He doesn't need a huge inventory to work with.  I keep this continually in mind with my life and business.  There are some things in which inventory is required to be ready and other things made in advance will only be outdated and ineffective when the need arises.

As so many are considering a more independent and natural approach to life, I can share just a few ideas for an example.  Some, I've learned the hard way, but those are getting fewer and farther between.  Thank Adonai for that!  As a business woman I have two types of product, those that need "curing" time, but are virtually nonperishable.  Then there are the other products that are formulated fairly quickly, but have a relatively short shelf life.  That's right, it's both ends of the continuum with little between.

When it comes to living off the land, there is considerable planning involved to be successful, and it's rather meticulous at the beginning and the end product, but again in between it's just a matter of the time it takes.  I plan my garden spots in the fall, and the produce I plan to raise.  Some, are automatic, like the early stuff, but the amount of beans, number of tomatoes and peppers depends upon this year's harvest and how much I've preserved.  I don't need more than I can use and share, reasonably.  It's entirely too expensive to try to ship canning.  That's an "in person" kind of sharing.

So much of our society is now based upon instant and whim, that it seems peculiar to make plans beyond "the week-end," but the King of the Universe has a plan, on a grand scale and for each individual.  The first time I saw this "saying" it spoke volumes to me.  Now I won't get it verbatim, but the concept has stayed with me.

                           "Failure to plan, is the plan for failure"

Perpetual

As the daughter of The Eternal King, I'll always be a princess.  I'll never be a queen.  Besides, Queen Elizabeth has already been done . . . twice.  As I sat in my home this week-end, the matriarch of four generations, I pondered the unique circumstances of what it is to be the daughter of the King who will never die.  Of course, I could live to see more generations to follow me, but there is no more advanced title in the family of YHWH.
Joint heirs with Messiah for us females is to be a princess, whether we are 20 or 120.  As an "everlasting princess" I have a royal responsibility.  Which is to make sure the next generations know the Prince of Peace shed his royal blood that they too can be Peculiar Princesses!

I've Got the Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy . . .

Down in my heart, down in my heart . . .

As I enjoyed the week of Sukkot, I kept hearing that song from childhood.  I live a rather silent existence, although my goats do communicate with me, and I know my dog Hank actually tries to talk.  That can be verified with the UPS driver, as he's noticed and commented as well.  Most of my regular human interaction is through the internet, so my verbal communication skills actually seem to be waning, or maybe it's the lesson of a lifetime in bridling my tongue.  It's much easier to look at words before hitting send than to try to regather them after they leave one's lips.

Every morning of Sukkot, I awoke to the sounds of nature and the awareness that this was a very special time.  The only thing missing this Sukkot, was an "in person" gathering.  I've attended those and hosted those in the past, but this year many of us "gathered by internet."  With laptops, smartphones, and Ipads may of us  "technoshipped" from our sukkah.  It was a time of celebrating and rejoicing.  I was happy for those who were enjoying gatherings in person and very thankful for the technology to share with so many of us who were sukkotin' solo!

As I spent time in the orchard or with the animals, I felt even more tuned into just how simple this life could be and how little we actually need to be content.  Please hear me, like most Americans, I've got plenty more than I need, but a week of "facilities" beyond where I was staying was a reminder of the conveniences we take for granted.  Also realizing, that although I am still pretty active and walking well, I do not have the physical agility or the balance to have participated in some of the sukkot gatherings I read about.

I like to think YHWH is preparing me, my verbal skills or absence thereof, and my physical capabilities or lack, for the gathering I'll participate in next year.  It's too early to make the plans, but knowing there are so many who ended up sukkotin' solo, we may just be able to gather next year together.  As I looked at the recipe for my traditional Sukkot Moussaka and the harvest of aubergine, I realized Moussaka for one just isn't a practical dish.  We'll see what transpires as the seasons change.

Sukkot is such a joyous celebration, culminating in Simchat Torah, which is Rejoicing in the Written Instructions.  The only sorrow I experienced was in realizing how quickly the week went.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A Business Decision

As I'm expanding my product line at Tribally Yours, I decided G-ma's Goatmilk Soap could use an expansion, as well.  A door into several communities has opened and this princess feels led to walk through them.  As this unfolds, I've discovered  that soap making is as calming as ironing is for me.  So much so, it's practically replaced it!

The second anniversary of my business venture was September 14, and although I've not made Procter and Gamble nervous; I've certainly learned a lot in the past two years and grown.  Fortunately, the products were good to begin with and the improvements have been really enjoyable, not only to me, but to customers and clientele.  I've learned about myself in this deal too.  I've learned where to take advice and where to just smile and say thank you.  I've truly enjoyed being able to offer a good and natural product, at a reasonable price.  I can't get over how much some "natural products" cost!

I'm all excited about two new products I'm designing.  Available soon will be a "winter care package" as well as a "gift basket for the new baby," but a new ministry opportunity is what really has me excited.  I'm going to be able to work with young people who don't have a great deal of support in their corner, so to speak.  I've come to a fuller understanding, Scripturally, when YHWH commands us to take care of the widows and fatherless.  Most of us consider the fatherless to be orphans, but that isn't necessarily the case, especially, here in our society.  There are a number of fatherless households, and many of them have very young, struggling mothers as the head.  

There is a need to offer young people some basic life skills and necessities.  Soap is one of those requested necessities, as well as sharing the fact that our Creator has given each of us a talent and a purpose.  So, I'm changing my inventory.  G-ma's Goatnilk Soap will still come in all the wonderful varieties, but the bars will be more uniform and bigger, while the ones that "don't make weight" are still good sized bars, and will serve to address this need in the community.

I don't mean to sound too strange here, but all of my soap recipes contain some olive oil, some more than others.  I pray as I formulate my products that the lives of the customers and clients these products touch, will be blessed.  The wrappers have Scripture and I stand on the promise that the Word of YHWH does not return void.  I believe this is going to be a wonderful blessing for young people who really feel they are overwhelmed before they are even getting started.

When I saw the "vision" of this program, I saw a great many opportunities and certainly some good intentions.  Good intentions for our youth, however; are not enough.  This community program needs the presence YHWH, and the young people certainly need His Son.   In the last verses of Matthew, Messiah said we were to, Go . . . and He'd be with us!

No, Never Alone

The Goshen Gazette is blessed to have Beth Rank included as one of our steadfast contributors.  I am blessed to call her, friend and sister.  The article she wrote this week, just seems so fitting to be featured in "The Peculiar Princess."  I hope and pray you enjoy this as much as I did.

No, Never Alone          by Beth Rank

About Choice

The first sermon I formally preached was entitled "Choose to be Chosen" based upon the Scripture 1 Peter 2:9-11, which also just happens to contain the adjective, peculiar, as in people generally, princess specifically!  Interesting how this has come full circle in eighteen years.

I now publish many "sermons" and am very grateful to be able to work from home.  I gave a bit more insight as to this awesome blessing in my article in "The Other 1%."  Working at home, means I can literally do anything my heart desires to do; and my heart desires to serve my King, who just happens to be King of Kings, a.k.a. King of the universe.  Working from home affords me a great variety of interests and activities that I truly would not have, any other way.  Not only am I able to work in a variety of endeavors, I am also able to accomplish a great many mundane household chores and personal activities that would "be waiting for me" after work, if I worked away from home.

Hair washing day for me is the one day, I don't do alot on line because I can't wear a head covering while my hair is drying and it's an all day project at best.  Therefore internet discourse, which I consider to be speaking publicly, is limited.  That's the day I do my other things.  Besides it's usually the day after the big publication, so I'm all screened and keyboarded out for a day.  I love the way YHWH has arranged my schedule!

This past Monday was delightful.  I'm reorganizing my soap business to make shipping more uniform, so every new batch of soap is aimed for the bars to be the same dimensions.  So many of my projects seem to be a learn as I go adventure, but that's okay, as long as I'm learning . . . So here I am out in my soap making space, with my hair drying in the most wonderful house dress on the planet.  It was hand made by a wonderful seamstress, and the fact that I ended up with this is a blessing, which came gift wrapped in insults.

 As I mixed and measured, I thought of how many gifts I missed out on before I was walking with YHWH, because I chose to be offended.  I'm not one to hold a grudge, but I do like to avoid rejection and insult as often as possible, but this particular incident taught me something more.  My last husband's family did not like me, they didn't want him to marry me, and after the wedding, their views didn't change, and they made sure I was aware of that.  I shouldn't say his entire family, just the immediate members, with the exception of his brother, and he had the most wonderful Aunties, just precious women.

Shortly after the marriage, one of the Auntie's took very ill and passed.  In her belongings was the house dress that I referred to earlier.  I've made mention in the past of not being a small woman.  So, after the "real family," the blood kin went through everything, I was offered this house dress that Aunt Doris had made in her "bigger years."  I was so delighted to have any memento at all from this lovely lady, I accepted the insults that came along with it.  First, my then husband's mother informed me it was just way too big on her, and it just swallowed my then sister-in-law, and no one else would fill it out . . . so they naturally thought of me.  Well, praise YHWH, I didn't even entertain the thoughts that knocked at my brain, I was simply so thrilled.  Truth be told, it will go around me twice, but that makes no difference.  I am thrilled to have been so blessed.

Now all these years later, muddy water under the burnt bridges, I still delight in having known this lovely woman, and my sentimental house dress is my choice, for special hair drying days, only!

My Kind of Day!

The Gregorian calendar read Tuesday, August 27, 2013.  The calendar of YHWH, according to various perspectives is varied, as always . . . I believe it was the 21st day of the 6th month.  It was one glorious day.  I had so much to do and it was all so varied, which is right up my alley!  I awoke early to a time of prayer and devotions.  I like to begin the day early with my Heavenly Father.  It is so wonderful to be seeking Him as the day dawns.

I have my little morning ritual regarding my coffee making.  Nobody in their right mind would put up with the way I do it, but like perked coffee, not drip.  So, I have a Corning Ware stove top percolator.  That requires me to pay attention, or clean up my stove top, so I have just the right amount of time to turn the stove on high, brush my teeth and get dressed before it begins to perk.  The sound changes as the first "perk" takes place, then I turn the stove down to low, and head out to do the morning chores.  I realize my quirks are not necessarily noteworthy, but by the same token, we do all have our little routines and uniquenesses, even oddities that are just the way we are.  I love going out the door and talking to the critters.  When they hear the door open, they each express their own morning greeting.  My, I sort of headed down and unexpected tangent, but it was the groundwork for a great day.

As I finished the chores, I noticed some okra was ready, so I picked it and headed into the house.  The day was brimming with activity and opportunity.  I had one peck of beans already snapped in preparation for canning, and several orders for a new product that has been so popular, I already had to make another batch.  Last year when I broke my arm, I developed a great natural topical pain reliever, and folks are liking the product.  The day was looking great!  There were three article ideas bouncing in my head for the next edition of the Goshen Gazette, as well as the need to take some mail to town.

Once the green beans were in jars in the canner, I set the timer and went to the lab to start making the CHINICREEN.  I realize this sounds strange, but I was just so excited to be able to be so busy and so much being accomplished.  It didn't take long to get the product made and the orders filled, so I had a bit of time to begin my articles.  The timer sounded as I was finishing up the titles and topics, so it was time to get ready to go to town.  There was just an air of excitement as to how efficient this day was going and I just knew my steps were ordered by Abba.

I realized how late it was in the month, and I probably wouldn't be out again before the 1st, so I stopped and paid the electric bill.  I'm not fully off grid, but the wind and solar offer a notable reduction.  I am blessed to only have two bills and month and both can be paid locally, so that's efficient as well.   Took the shipping orders to the Post Office, headed to the farm store, and then to what I'd call a Surplus Store on the outskirts of a town in my neighboring state.

Just a fun fact, here.  I had called earlier to find the address of this place and asked where they were from the larger town I'd be in.  He told me seven miles due west across the state line.  I got on 7th Street in one town in one state, went due west, and the street number never changed in the next town or state.  I was in search of pots for the green house for the winter, and found them at a bargain price!

Headed for home, and arrived in time to get a big glass of ice cold water before chore time.  The critters and I enjoyed the evening as always, then I came in, poured a glass of wine, thanked the King of the Universe for such a wonderful day, and sat down to write this article.  It truly was my kind of day!  

I Can Do All Things Through Messiah, Who Strengthens Me

I've repeated this passage from Philippians 4, several times in my life; but the other day, it literally rose up in my spirit and not only came out of my mouth, but coursed through my body.

There have been occasions in which I've asked YHWH to please give me the strength He endowed upon Samson.  Those were events in which, of course great strength was needed.  I never held the usual perception of Samson.  I didn't picture him to be some sort of power house or Mr. Universe kind of guy.  I picture him to be sort a scrawny little odd ball, not so amazing in his physical appearance or in his "way with women . . ."  I'm sort of like how I picture Samson, only the fluffy female version, in that I'm not a picture of physical perfection either, and I was just noticing in the last few months, how much harder it is to get the lids off jars and how much heavier the canner seems.  So, what happened the other day has no other explanation, except the power of YHWH.

I went out early Sunday morning to make my chore rounds, as usual.  "Everyone" greeted me as usual and were in their usual places enjoying their grazing.  I let the chickens out, made sure everyone everyone had water and gave Azalea access to her hay for the day.  Poor Azalea has to be fenced off from her hay for the night, as she will not even sleep to keep eating . . .  I finished chores and came in to begin my day of publishing the Goshen Gazette.

One of the hay bales had toppled over, just since I'd made my rounds.  I went out and to my horror, Velvet was not greeting me at the gate to tell me something had happened.  I walked all around the pasture and timber calling her and realizing another goat, Nova, was also unaccounted for.  My heart was truly sinking as I considered with dread, what may have occurred.  Those bales weigh over a 1000 pounds and it wasn't 1/2 gone.

I headed toward the truck, hoping I'd be able to drag the hay bale and tried to prepare myself to face something I knew I did not want to see.  Meanwhile, Mr. B. headed for the 4 wheeler.  He said it would get better traction than the truck.  I was good with that, as I tried not to think about the circumstances.  The rope went around the bale but was placed to catch under the edge of the bale in one spot, as it became taut.  As the 4 wheeler spun, that one lip of the bale lifted just enough that Nova sprang out of there like a Jack-in-the-box.

My arms literally flew in the air praising YHWH and thanking Him for that amazing miracle.  This was a little pygmy goat under a big round bale of hay which was too heavy for the 4 wheeler to drag.  This is no light weight 4 wheeler, either, it's a Yamaha Kodiak.  As I moved closer to that bale, I became aware of my own claustrophobia and just cried out to YHWH that I didn't want Velvet to suffocate under that horrendous pressure and weight.  YHWH saw my heart.  I know she's getting older and I'm semi-prepared to face her final days, but I didn't want her to go that way.

I've had Velvet longer than any other goat on the place.  Velvet lived at the other place, she moved with me!  So many memories I have, include that silly little goat, and they began to flood my mind.  I used her photo just this last week in my Sabbath greeting on Facebook.

The rope was still taut, keeping just a lip of that bale off the ground, enough to get my hands under it.  I was so focused, I really didn't even realize what was happening.  The next thing I knew, I had the west side of that bale propped up on my knees and my little Velvet had clearance to come out.  She was drenched in her own sweat, panting, and very unstable in her stance, but she was alive!

Answered Prayer

I waited for an answer to a specific prayer for two years.  I didn't take it before the Throne every day, it was simply a request for an opportunity.  It was nothing earth shattering.   Really, most would probably believe it to be very insignificant, but it was something that was important to me and even though I didn't ask repeatedly, YHWH answered it with a very unexpected opportunity!

A couple of years ago, an acquaintance was looking to rent a tiller or use one.  I volunteered to loan him mine, but it came with a condition.  He could borrow my tiller.  I'd fill it up before he left and send a gas can with it, but rather than replace the gas, I'd prefer that he just paid me for the gallon or whatever he used.  He knew immediately why I requested that.  The gasoline in our state all contains ethanol and it wreaks havoc with small engines and the rubber hoses.  I buy my gasoline on the reservation.  My people know corn was created to be food . . .

He came and got the tiller, per our agreement.  When he returned it, he offered me too much money.  I said that was too much and I didn't have any change.  He said keep it, he didn't have anything smaller.  So, that was how it went.  Then, sadly, our region experienced some drought and when I asked about his garden, he used the adjective "epic" in front of the word fail!  It was at that point, I really sought YHWH.  The money wasn't a huge sum, but I felt bad and told Abba, I felt bad.  I asked for an opportunity to "make things right."

Considering it all started over a garden idea, as I posted photos of garden produce, I offered to share the excess with folks nearby, but no takers.  He and I even chatted a time or two about he "just might" check with me through "such and such" season, but in two years, he didn't.  We'd inadvertently run into each other once in awhile in town, but no opportunities ever presented themselves, and although I didn't voice the prayer repeatedly, YHWH saw that it stirred in me every time I ran into this gentleman.

Glory HalleluYah!  The opportunity came.  There was a post that someone was looking for farm fresh eggs, I commented that I knew where there were free range hens that didn't eat GMO grain and gave a price.  The next thing I read was a comment from my tiller friend.  He asked, where, and I responded, my place.  He said, he should have remembered.  So with that we made some tentative plans for him to purchase eggs.

Now, here's where it really gets good.  I realized I was going to be in town before the week-end, so I mentioned to him, I could bring them by, if he liked.  I put them in a cooler, took care of business and when I got there with two dozen eggs, he of course reached for his wallet.  I've noticed that about men.  Their arms go opposite directions, in a transaction.  With one arm they reach toward the item and with the other toward their back pocket.

It was then that I said, no charge.  He began to rebuff, but then I told him, "I prayed for the opportunity to give him 'his change' from the gasoline and this was the answer to my prayer."  He accepted that and thanked me, and shared the circumstances with others.  Considering the fact that money has no eternal value and no one had been wronged in the situation; yet He still answered my prayer, clearly tells me He truly is concerned with every detail of our lives.

I just love being the daughter of The King of the universe!

Ain't No Way to Treat a Lady . . .

If I'm not mistaken, this was the title of a Helen Reddy hit, nearly forty years ago.  This blogsite may offer just too much introspection or cover topics that some in our society believe should remain undiscussed, but I've seen and heard, the world view is quite vocal and the "agenda machine" is willing to reach out and discuss everything, so I'm feeling led to do the same.  Here's the warning:  The revelation began in the bath tub.  As a rule, I'm a shower person, but I was feeling drawn to draw a bath.

Just as I was about to run bath water, the phone rang.  The gentleman from whom I buy hay called and said, after his two bulls had gotten in a tussle causing some significant damage to his truck, it was back up and in good repair.  It was too wet to get out and make hay, so he'd bring over the couple of bales I needed.  This area has gotten over a foot of rain in less than 3 weeks, so saying it's too wet to make hay, means it's really muddy in the pasture, too.  My hay man is only about twenty minutes away, so my bath was postponed; and I went out to move livestock and open gates.  This place sits high, as the terrain goes, so he didn't think there'd be any problem.  Other than a couple of ruts, things went pretty smoothly.  We got the hay transaction accomplished, he left, and I once again headed to my bath.

As I washed my face and arms, I realized, why my lifestyle is better suited to a shower.  I don't go barefooted when it's muddy so I can take my sandals off at the door, and I knew I'd gotten my clothes dirty, but I had no idea just how grubby I'd actually gotten in all that mud!  I remembered back to a time when my grandchildren were younger and would just get filthy here on the place.  The term of endearment, "grub muffin" was coined, but so far only one grandchild has maintained the interest to continue that title.  Now, I see where she gets it.  As I pondered my own life and interests, I could easily see why men would not be so interested in a woman like me, and I thought again of my granddaughter who is so much like me.

The guys of my generation were taught the green to be desired was paper and a respectable career was one in which they didn't get their hands dirty.  Land ownership was fine, but working the land was not a desired career.  The mantra was "work smarter, not harder."   These days, however; the times they are a changin'.  The men of younger generations are realizing the value of the soil.  Industry doesn't hold the same appeal or promise it did for the older generations.  Some of these younger guys are realizing,  rather than a dead-end career or uncertain employment to pay off student loans; working the land and using their talents, is in fact working smarter, not harder!

Back to the perspective of this dirty princess.  Being a seven year old "grub muffin" is adorable, even now at 14 she can pull it off for a bit, but a 55 year old, not so much . . . And so I thought of this crazy feminist movement our society produced, and even though the ERA never came to fruition, many women have positioned themselves to compete with men, and it's become expected for a woman to work like a man, even if she doesn't earn like one.  Yet, to be able to "have it all," seems to render so many to still be quite unhappy.

I, on the other hand realized, and will share this information with my grandchildren and anyone who will listen.  The Proverbs 31 woman probably got dirty on occasion.  I'm guessing Ruth got dusty, maybe even perspired out there in Boaz's field.  I can honestly tell any young lady, the right man will appreciate your interests and love who you really are.  It's okay to get dirty, if you get cleaned up afterward.  The right man might even be out there getting dirty right along side of you, well actually; with the right man, it will be the other way around.

My message to young ladies is, a woman can work with her hands, she can work the land, and she can still be a lady.  As a matter of fact, Proverbs 31 gives quite an amazing list of what a woman can do and is capable of, and in that she is praised and called blessed.   A man worthy of respect will appreciate a capable woman, even if she needs a bath before she makes dinner.

Bitter Sweet Acceptance

Last week I spoke of beauty from ashes, and I am very grateful for the opportunity to be a daughter of the King, but I've gained a fuller perspective.

As a young girl, I used to cry out to G-d at night.  I wanted to be all the things I wasn't.  I didn't want to be so different from other kids, and I wanted to be grown.  I did well in school, scholastically, but not socially.  I was different, but I didn't understand the gravity or the blessing of that difference until recently, very recently.  I remember being called horrible names at school.  I was even slapped and hit.  I told my mom, but she didn't think anything should be said, so I said nothing at school, and nothing more at home about it.

I remember as desegregation took place, I thought I would finally not be so different, but I was wrong again. I was brown, which meant I wasn't white and I wasn't black and so the comments and the exclusion didn't stop.  Then I met Messiah, but only met Him, I wasn't yet following Him.  I did learn to be religious, though; and in a strange sort of way, that made the feeling of being so different, somehow, less painful for awhile.

I was a good student, so I hid myself in my studies and my religious beliefs.  I didn't know of the real relationship with Messiah that was possible or the indwelling of the Great Spirit of our Creator, so I struggled and I tried for a time, and then I simply gave up.  The day, I realized YHWH still loved me, and introduced to me the concept of an actual relationship, my life was changed forever . . .  but also, in some ways, I'm still who I was.  For a time I thought it was my lack of surrender or spiritual immaturity, but it was my understanding that was flawed.  My uniqueness and my social awkwardness is a gift.

I'm friendly, but I am still socially awkward, and so are a number of young people.  Many people lack the self-confidence this society promotes, and that is not necessarily a bad thing for those of us who do lack.  We are promised the strength of YHWH in our weakness and I've been blessed to experience that, but more importantly, YHWH has used my weakness to demonstrate His strength.

My granddaughter who has visited has CP.  She's mildly affected, but it is noticeable.  Clearly, kids being what they are, just small humans, are not always gracious in their treatment of her.  These are different times in which we live, and her skin tone is much lighter than mine, but her uniqueness also draws sometimes negative attention.  She refers to herself as an "outcast."  I was able to hear the things she was saying and to offer her comfort in the things she must face.  I'm very proud of my grandchildren.  I greatly enjoyed her visit, and I am literally thankful that I know what it's like to be what she calls an "outcast."

Beauty from Ashes

Life hasn't exactly turned out the way I expected it to, or to be truly honest; the way I'd hoped it would.  I struggled with that for a time, I mean struggled, literally with YHWH.  I now walk like Jacob . . . But there is a firm reality within me, that may not have ever come to be, had it all turned out "happily ever after," by our societal standards.

I am truly looking forward to these High Holy Days that are coming up.  I feel like it's going to finally close the door on some old sadness and open the door to some very bright opportunities.  I truly, in my heart of hearts, could not be sorrier for the things I did before I came to YHWH in Y'hshuwah.  I also, could not be more grateful to know I've been forgiven by Him.  

I still remember Him asking me if I was willing to give up everything I thought I knew . . . That was a much bigger question than I realized and my answer, "Yes," was a much bigger statement than I could have possibly realized.  I think, of all the doctrine, I thought was sound, the only three things I still believe are.  1.  Our Creator is Supreme over all, and now I am blessed to know His Name, which is translated in English; YHWH.  2.  His Son did come to show us how to live, and to give Himself for us, that we can be forgiven and follow Him.  3.  He's coming again.

Everything else has changed, and changed dramatically!   I do not believe in OSAS.  I'm not expecting a pretribulation rapture.  I do not believe in being stuck in our sinful mistakes, nor am I expecting YHWH to fix all the mistakes I made before I came to Him.  Some things I did, I simply have acknowledge the mistake, accept the consequences, and let go of the condemnation.  I am reminded many times over of the Patriarchs in my life.

I've already compared my wrestling with the similar results of Jacob.  I am frequently reminded of the number of times Abraham took matters into his own hands.  He lied about his wife, not once but twice, and then we're all familiar with the child outside of G-d's plan . . . While we all like to cling to the promise of Abraham, we sometimes forget the covenant responsibility he carried to be called YHWH's friend.

I've come to accept the fact that I won't be nominated for "Mother of the Year!"   Having gotten an early start as "the Woman at the Well," a loving earthly marriage isn't likely in the plan for me, but I have a wonderful Bridegroom who adores me and is coming back for me!   In accepting the fact that I simply cannot make these matters right.  My effort doesn't even meet societal standards!  But, I've discovered G-d has a different standard.  To earn approval is nice, but to be loved and forgiven is unsurpassed.

I've learned being content in all things, is to experience the beauty; and it's not my job to clean up the ashes!  HalleluYah!

On My Way

I believe our testimonies should be ongoing.  I never enjoyed those, "I remember 25 years ago . . ."  Those testimonies are precious, but we need allow YHWH to provide His people with as many current events as the will of man and love of money is coming up with.  With that being said, I have to share the next portion of the move with a qualifying statement.  With less than 50 miles to go, to complete the entire transaction, cashier's check in hand, I very clearly saw a pillar of cloud.  It was almost due south, just a tad to the west.

Immediately, doubt flooded my mind.  I wasn't doubting G-d, oh no!  I began to entertain the idea that I'd "jumped the gun" and made a wrong decision.  Seriously, after everything that had gone so right, and so blessed, I began to wonder if I'd made a mistake.  I've mentioned before, just how insecure and unsure of myself, I am.  Allowing myself to receive victory to overcome my own inferiority complex and lack of confidence has been quite a journey of surrender for me.  So, here I am in the passenger seat, pointing out the pillar of cloud to my husband.  Just like with the pillar of fire, he had some "explanation" that simply held no logic, so I didn't pursue the conversation any further.

It was then that the reality truly began to kick in for me.  My life was not based upon my confidence in me or in any longer taking the blame, automatically.  I simply spoke to YHWH and stated, if I've missed something or gotten out of order, please stop the direction and momentum.  I don't care what I lose financially, or in a relationship.  I had been praying every step of the way, and truly believe this to have been ordered by my Creator.  Such a peace washed over me.  I remembered a preacher friend of mine, saying, "G-d didn't bring you this far to drop you now."

Little did I realize at the time, even with naming the place EinGedi, which was an oasis, not a destination, that this would be a place of refreshment and further preparation . . .  I had so much to learn, and in His mercy, He was going to allow me a few baby steps.

Now there are homestead blogs all over the internet and Torah Observant groups, but frequently those two don't overlap greatly.  Eight years ago, I didn't have an understanding about milking around resting on Sabbath and the difference between gardens and fields.  I didn't know how to make agrarian offerings, and how to count the herds and flocks as to which ones belong to YHWH.  Oh, I'd read it, but I can attest to this fact. I soon discovered, not only did I need to read and re-read, Torah, I'd still have to consult the Author and need the power of His Great Spirit in the accomplishment of the practical app.  Y'hshuwah gave many agricultural parables, but I had a lot of questions.

I'm so thankful He allowed me to start out small . . .

The Oasis, for a Time

I was so excited to be officially moving!  The terms were arranged and the closing date was set for June 1st.  I headed back on Preparation Day, with even more than Sabbath for which to prepare.  The downside was, we owned four pieces of property that needed to be sold and had owner financed two others.  So, as well as packing to move, there was some serious real estate that needed to move as well.  Although, I now refer to it as the down side, it really wasn't at the time, it was just a matter of seeing what YHWH had planned for tying up the loose ends.  I did need to start packing, though!

I have to admit, I was still wondering if my husband was staying or going, as every time the packing began, he just disappeared to one of the other properties.  The realtors were very quiet, as in very few enquiries.  The month was moving right along, as I was preparing for the deal.  With a holiday at the end of the month, I was so glad to have the extra day . . . then the realtor called.  By the enthusiasm in her voice, I knew whatever the news would be a new hurdle in my progress.  Sure enough, 'she knew how excited we were to close this deal, so she'd taken the opportunity to move it up a day.'  Don't you just love it when people who are clueless make decisions for everyone?  Whoops, that sounds like Congress!

I hadn't told anyone but the realtors with the listings of my plans.  Before leaving for this trek, I'd heard from YHWH that a family member had a problem that was about to be made known, so I hadn't mentioned anything to anyone about this new adventure.  I just kept my nose to the grindstone as there was a lot to get done, by the end of the month.

With the extra day no longer on the table, that meant, YHWH's plan was unfolding differently than I expected.  It was easy to just accept the changes as being truly part of the plan!  With that, I continued on in determining what I'd keep, what I'd sell, and what I'd give away.  All in all, when it was all said and done, one box of books was never accounted for.

There were two CDs that matured toward the end of the month and I knew it would take the hand of YHWH to have that cash without penalty and be at the other end of the state with a Cashier's Check in hand, by early afternoon, the last day of May.  I'm not one to talk about money as blessing very often, but this truly was the hand of YHWH.   The date of maturity on one CD ended up falling on Shabbat, before the Monday holiday, which would have left all the financial arrangements to begin Tuesday morning after 9, with a closing at time of 2:30, over 225 miles away.  I'll admit that made me just a tad nervous for a minute.  Then I set the "fear" aside and asked YHWH what He wanted me to do.  So simple.  He reminded me that the banking day changed at 2 in the afternoon, call and ask if it would be possible . . .

Well, of course, was the response and she wanted to hear all about the big move!  They'd see me Friday afternoon.  Following that conversation, the phone rang.  The realtor wanted to show the properties, all of them.

The Second Contract

As the realtor droned on in my ear about why I had to do all of my real estate transactions through her, I thought of the old Charlie Brown specials when I was a kid.  Remember when the comic strip came to television specials and the adult's voices were a metallic "wha wha . . .wha wha wha wha ?"  That's exactly how she sounded, until . . .

She said, the realtor that knew what she was doing, well that's my description, she simply said the agent from the other office had called and contacted her people.  She was expecting a call from her at any time we could come back to her office and wait.  As tempting as her offer was, I'd have preferred a root canal while waiting, so I told her my husband wanted to look at the place again and asked her politely to please call me when she'd heard from the other realtor.

We went on toward Fairview and I just couldn't understand how he couldn't see the barrenness.  It was only early May and there were already irrigation rigs in the fields.  If there is a little desert in Missouri, it's outside of Newtonia between Stark City and Fairview.  As he drove toward this place, I pointed out that the city limit sign indicated this place was actually in the city limits.  His response was something to the effect of being able to live in a town that was like living in the country . . . best of both worlds sort of statement.  I have to admit, I was certainly seeing it as the worst of both worlds.

I then asked if we could go look at the other place while we waited for the phone call.  He was cordially agreeable.  Before we got there, however; the phone rang.  It was the realtor to which we were legally bound, and it felt like bondage!  She said she'd heard from everyone and would like to discuss our options.

We headed straight to her office, foregoing the run back to the place of the vision.  We entered her office and she began immediately to address the place my husband had chosen.  It truly felt like my brain was bouncing off of the walls of my skull.  I could not believe that even after phone calls, and the other realtor, those facts appeared to be irrelevant.  She proceeded to tell my husband, since the people had just reduced their asking price, she felt they would find an offer of a couple more thousand, acceptable.

I then asked if she'd heard from the other realtor.  She said she had and if we chose to pursue that, she could draw up a contract and the other realtor would take care of renewing the listing.  I knew better than to even ask my question aloud, but "What are we waiting for?" completely reverberated in my head.  I then looked at my husband, and he was just staring.  I presented a simple idea.  We could offer the same amount to these other people.  The realtor immediately reminded me that their asking price was several thousand dollars more and they had allowed their contract to expire, whereas the first contract people were seriously looking to sell.

My thought was, if they were seriously trying to sell, they'd have accepted our cash offer.  That's right, I forgot to mention, we were dealing in cash with this deal, so that meant minimal paperwork for everyone involved would have money in their pocket instantly.  No waiting for loan approval, no sixty day credit checks, no nothing.  It would all be a done deal as soon as the Title Company could process the deed, and set the date.

I smiled at her in what was I'm sure a rather icy dismissive expression and looked at my husband.  I, repeated my suggestion and awaited his response.  There was some attempt at discussion and "what ifs."  My response was simple.  If they don't accept it, we're out nothing and we can then, consider the next move.  With that, the realtor began a new contract and my husband quit thinking up potential problems.  The only change was the address of the property.  Everything else stood as it was on the first contract.  We signed the new contract offer, I didn't even have to write a new check, and got up to leave.

She said, if she heard back before 7 that evening, she'd call us.  I smiled at her and said, she would.  With that we left.  My husband asked if I was ready to go back to the room and wait for the call, but I suggested we go ahead and go look at the place as planned before the call came in.  That was agreeable and we headed out Old Scenic Drive.  Once, outside of town, Old Scenic Drive followed the path of Shoal Creek.  The road was lined with trees, their leaves lush and green from being watered by the creek and I thought of the Scriptures that mention trees planted by streams.

It could not have been more dramatic.  As we rounded the curve right before the drive, the phone rang.  It was the realtor.  The people had accepted our offer!  As we turned into the drive way, this was no longer a real estate listing, this was home.  

                                                                                photo is the finest well house in Newton County
                                                                                                         

The Offer

Just like the first time the urge to jump out, hit me, I ignored it and remained in the moving vehicle.  As I attempted to tune out her religious/real estate advice and her rendition of man and wife, I continued to earnestly listen in my heart.  What I heard was wonderful.  I heard, "This battle is not yours . . ."  With that, my mind stopped racing toward a bad direction.  I can't say I was filled with shalom, but I was definitely aware that there was no confusion in my spirit.

I already knew, I had no argument that was convincing.  The larger piece of land was already fenced and the asking price had been reduced.  The asking price was nearly 20% less than the place I believed I was led to.  So, I sat there as the real estate agent and my spouse drew up the contract.  I did get tickled when my husband raised the question about the crops already in the ground on the place.  The garden was maybe 20 X 30, and there was probably a 25 pound onion crop in the ground, with potatoes and green beans coming up as well.  I think I maintained my "poker face" as I considered this even being mentioned.  That seemed like a potential point of contention that may just cause a negative response.  I was then asked to sign and make out an "earnest money" check.  Oh, I cannot tell you how hard that was.  I still remember all the details of that check!  Trusting YHWH was not the difficulty.   Not getting angry at the two people in the room, that my prayers would be hindered; was my problem.

So, with that being done, we got up to leave, I left a card.  She looked at my card, saw the Star of David with a cross.  With my check in her hand, she was now quite concerned about my salvation.  I'd mentioned being in ministry, had specifically asked about internet access, as that was a large portion of my ministry, and now she had concerns about my eternal soul.  When I started to speak, she "dismissed me" and said she'd be in touch when she heard back from the people.

We went to get some lunch and it wasn't long before the phone rang.  The people had returned the contract with a resounding, "NO."  No counter offer, no nothing, just NO!"  My heart leapt for joy!  Then my husband suggested we go back out and see the place again, before we raise the offer.  I could not believe my ears!  With that, I was done, completely finished with any hope of discussion.  It was very clear that everything I had said about the vision before leaving, and the conversation we had on the way, had meant absolutely nothing to him.  Out to Fairview, we headed again.  I truly believed the vision I had seen was from YHWH, but as always in dealing with that man, I struggled against the seed of doubt trying to plant itself in my spirit.  The words, "Oh, Adonai" escaped my lips.  Between the realtor and the husband, I felt invisible and mute; but my Heavenly Father saw me and my Shepherd Y'hshuwah heard my cry.

It was then, that I clearly heard in my spirit, "Say, Can we call the other realtor and just ask what she thinks the other people's bottom dollar is?"  My spouse's response was simple.  He reminded me that the asking price on the other place was 20% more than the asking price on the place he wanted, and we'd already been turned down.  I took that as, no response to my direct question at all, so I asked again.  He always got disgusted with me when I refused to go on a tangent of his non-answer.  The second time, I got an answer.  "Go ahead and call her."  It was one of those "moments" in that, her office phone number just truly did come to mind.  HalleluYah!  She was very informative, in that she could do nothing.  We were legally bound to the realtor that drew up the contract.  She did say, she'd call her people, though; and mention there had been an enquiry.

Less than ten minutes had passed when the first realtor called me.  She said she'd heard from the other realtor about my call and proceeded to explain to me that she was our buying agent in the area.  I can honestly say, without the presence of YHWH in my life, she would have heard quite an earful, as I sped out of her selling area . . .                                                                    

Help On the Way

The realtor from the listing agency arrived and she was a delight!  She got the door open, knew her stuff and let me look around.  Of course, I already knew this was the place.  It matched the vision, perfectly, well not perfectly, it had even more great details!  Clearly the well and the peach tree(s) were deal makers.  I asked what "Neosho" meant.  It is a Native American term meaning, "place of springs."  The mission I had facilitated in town was "Living Water."

I had mentioned earlier in this account that I knew there was some sort of special issue with the listing or the availability, but I hadn't known what.  So, the realtor I was now stuck with dealing with, not the good one that could actually open the door and answer the questions, but the one that was now legally my sales agent said we'd have to do the paperwork in the morning, but the other agent would let the sellers know, an offer was on the way.  A new contract would be required with the sellers, before an offer to buy could be made, and the not so amazing realtor did not choose to disclose at that time, that she had to get to her real job at Wal-Mart.

Now, here's where this princess gets a little misty and well embarrassed.  I was still not sure if I was going to be moving alone or salvaging a marriage.  As it turned out, neither, but those details are on my secret blog.  Now, back to the waiting.  Went to the Booneslick Lodge to await the morning meeting.  Much to my surprise the next morning, if apt is the opposite of inapt, the less than apt realtor called with another place to show "us."  My undecided partner in civil wedlock was ready to go see the new place.  He said he had "wrestled" all night over that property we had been shown and that was the one, then in a five minute phone call, my world went topsy turvy again.  My heart just sank, but as a dutiful, trying to be submissive wife, I went along, quietly.  I kept in mind, it isn't my world and I prayed, mostly silently, but I prayed.  To be honest, if I'd have said much, I'd have been in tears.

So, out to Fairview we went.  I sat in the back seat as the two of them discuss this place we were heading.  We got there and immediately the term barren came to mind.  There was slightly more land, and it was fenced, but there was no well and no fruit trees, and no fireplace, which I pointed out.  There was a small garden though, that ended up being an issue in the offer, and I chuckle to myself, all these years later as I recollect that day.  So as we looked at it all and got back in her car to head to the office, I suggested we go back to the other place, which she did.  That was the only statement I made in her car and after leaving there, asked only one question.

As we pulled out of the drive to head to town, my question to my spouse was, "You really like that place, don't you?"  After hearing my description of the vision two days prior, he had the audacity to tell me, he liked the other place better and was ready to make an offer.  I had the overwhelming urge to just jump out of the back seat of that car!  That's the second time I'd had that feeling where he was concerned . . . And so I prayed.  I prayed hard!  That's when I found out, our realtor was also a church lady.
                                                                                                           to be continued . . .

The Plan Went South

Upon leaving Peculiar, we went through Harrisonville to Nevada, where I made a couple of calls to realtors, answering machines, but no return calls.  We made Joplin by evening, checked into a micro-tel and of all things, it had a 24 hour local real estate channel!  I had no idea such a thing even existed!

The following morning I called a realtor who was a "former California guy" now well into middle age, "sort of" working at selling real estate in the Ozarks.  It was a most inefficient and unproductive few hours.  So, after quality time with "jamminjim," the e-mail address on his business card, I headed on down 71 highway to the next major exit, Neosho.

We pulled into the very first real estate office I saw, and a very pushy, very new to the business realtor was ready to sell me half the town . . . She spoke of this and spoke of that and mentioned this and mentioned that.  Now, I do have to admit, I had done a bit of searching on realtor.com after seeing the pillar of fire, so I was already aware that what she was pushing did not fit the description of what I'd seen in the vision the morning before.  Nothing on realtor.com had fit that description, either.  No matter how many times I described the simple facts, I knew, she appeared oblivious or unhearing.  I knew if it wasn't available, I wasn't supposed to seek it, as in coveting, but I still knew it wasn't a regular "on the market" situation.  I had no idea how to go about finding "for sale by owner" in a town in which I wasn't familiar.  Then suddenly, her light came on.

There was a property that had run the end of the contract without selling and the couple had not renewed the contract with the listing broker.  Are you ready, "jamminjim" worked for the company that had listed it, over 6 months prior, and he never even mentioned it.  Suddenly pieces were falling into place.  It was a small acreage with a well and a white house.  I didn't push her for fruit tree details, we simply got in her car and headed out Old Scenic Drive!

Not only did I see the long white home, I saw the most amazing wellhouse I'd ever seen.  In front of the house was not one, but two peach trees!  Aside the driveway sat the a pair of blue birds and it couldn't have been any clearer if the sky had opened up to drop banners and confetti!  This was the place YHWH had brought me to.  Now, to just determine how to buy something that was abandoned and no longer for sale.  The problem was, no contract and this new realtor wasn't going to put out any effort in the possibility of not getting her commission.  An immediate difficulty opened the door to the solution.  This realtor couldn't operate the lock box, and had to call the listing realtor who just happened to be with the same company as  jamminjim.                     . . . to be continued

An Afternoon With Abba

I know many of my blogs and articles pertain to homesteading.  I really didn't know what I was doing had a trendy name at all until just last year.  Of course, it's not out of the ordinary for me to just be doing what I'm doing and if someone asks, 'What do you call what you're doing?'  I have no trouble at all saying, "I just don't know!"

I get to truly be myself with no one to critique my interests, abilities, or attention span, and I love it.  Today I got to do one of my favorite things.  I got to spend the afternoon in the garden getting dirty!  Not mud puddle dirty, just working and hoeing and planting a bit more; simply enjoying the good, clean dirt!  Of course, I spend my garden time barefoot usually, have my hands in the soil, and thank my Heavenly Father for letting me live in the Land of Goshen.  I am very aware of the significance of a garden.

Humanity was created to tend the garden, the fall of man occurred in the garden, and Y'hshuwah prayed in the garden before he was arrested in that same garden.  I see a very critical connection, and I am so thankful to be redeemed back to the garden.  I'm not trying to sound all pantheistic or "new agey" here, it is a blessed privilege that the Creator of the Universe has allowed me and called me back to the garden.  This whole "go to heaven when you die" schpeel is really not what speaks to me at all.  Don't get me wrong, I am looking forward to everlasting life in the presence of YHWH and Y'hshuwah, but my everlasting life has already started.  Everlasting has a start day and that was the day I repented and began to follow Messiah.  He didn't bring me to the garden right away, but I was told to get ready.  For what, I didn't know!  Nearly a decade ago, I saw a pillar of fire and knew that was the direction I'd be heading when He said "move."  Through the week of Unleavened Bread that year, I had a vision that clearly showed the destination, but no address of course.

I called a realtor, had the for sale sign in the yard by afternoon and set out, not knowing where I was going.  My first stop proved unfruitful, and so I continued on, south by southeast.  The road was great, and the trip was already an adventure.  I made a couple of other stops to see what was available, but nothing connected with that vision I'd been shown or the specifics of the Instructions.

My specific details were this.  I had already heard very early in ministry that at some point I would be led to buy land with a well.  The pillar of fire had been south by southeast, just barely east of due south.  The vision shown to me was a long white building, a peach tree, a well and an overgrown landscape.

The next sign I saw on the highway was on that named, Peculiar, as the next exit.  I immediately thought of I Peter 2:9 and that sounded like the destination for this princess.  After all, I am a "peculiar people" . . . but, alas, nothing aligned with what I'd been told and shown.  As I looked at what was available, there was one more thing revealed that I didn't understand at that time.  Wanting something that wasn't offered for sale was coveting, there would be no "name it and claim it" in this deal, and yet there would also be something out of the ordinary in it's availability, so I naturally began to ponder that.  I'm so glad I didn't try to connect my human dots and miss the actual Plan.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. 
                                                                                                           . . . to be continued

Breasts - G-d Made Them, Y' Know

This article is not addressing mastectomy due to cancer diagnosis, but rather the elective surgeries, that now also include mastectomy.

Breast augmentation was one of the most common cosmetic surgeries in the country, prior to the economic recession. Now, there is a new elective breast surgery, literally a double mastectomy in the case of the potential to develop breast cancer. Whether it's vanity or fear, women are feeling pressure to subject their bodies to be carved and mutilated by choice. I'm not suggesting there is a correlation to the promotion of this latest fear based surgery and the reduction of augmentation surgeries, but then again, Angelina Jolie must be aware that some of her decisions become a trend. I know a surprising number of people with children and grandchildren named Maddox . . .

When I worked at a fitness center, the woman who owned the place was discussing the needs of the clients with me and she made the comment. "After all these years working in fitness, there are exercises to tone and change everything except breasts. Breasts only come in two sizes, too large and too small." We live in a society that is nearly breast obsessed, and now with the focus on a genetic predisposition to cancer, women are choosing even more elective surgery than before.

First just a note of logic here. G-d gave women breasts for a reason, well according to the link below, several reasons, but to use them to feel inferior or fearful were not included in the reasons. We have been given the bodies we've been given and the differences that are within our control is weight to a certain degree and exercise. The shape really stays basically the same, just larger or smaller and more or less defined. My healthy weight is not a size 4. I had to literally abuse myself in every way I could find to maintain a size 4, and my breasts were still in the same proportion to my body they are now that I'm not a size 4.

Elective surgery is an unhealthy, life altering decision. By definition, the term "elective" means unnecessary. Elective surgeries are saying one of two things, either G-d didn't do it right to begin with, or He can't be trusted with future uncertainties. To have something removed because it might develop a problem is not really a sound decision. We don't see men having preemptive prostate surgery. "They" say there are genetic factors to the risk of Alzheimer's, but surely no one would consider preemptive brain surgery! Our society has for too long considered female parts to be expendable and the female body subject to alterations.

Whether it's fear or vanity, many women are electing to go under the knife, and I do mean electing, because we seem to forget in all the discussion and focus, that we should elect to be satisfied with the body G-d gave us, take care of it, and realize our physical days are numbered.

7 Things to Know About Breasts