The Divine Appointment

It's no secret that I am of Native American descent.  Unlike most folks who claim the ancestry, my great grandma was not a Cherokee princess.  My grandpa was a hardworking switchman for the railroad and his father before him was a coal miner, who had done what many Native American men did back at the turn of last century.  He joined the military under interesting circumstances, to "become a citizen."  There are more details, but suffice it to say, I'm proud of the stand he took and was blessed to have many wonderful memories of him throughout my childhood.   My ancestry is not just skin tone and hair color, it's literally a part of who I am.  I am an earthy, tribal woman who prefers simplicity to social status; or I guess that is my social status . . . Being both a follower of Messiah and Native American, I am often viewed as a bit of a curiosity.  This led to a wonderful experience which was one of those "divine appointment" moments!

Years ago, when I heard my call to minister health to a godless nation, I presumed . . . and began making plans to become a doctor heading for a foreign land.  It was two years later, I heard "home."   Within the next couple of years, several things happened that caused even the idea of medical school to go by the wayside.  In the first decade and a half of adulthood, my life was in a word:  unstable.  I wasn't doing what I was called to do, but I was doing just about everything else!  I wasn't a partier, didn't do the drug scene, but my career changed about every 3 years, as did my marital status.  By my mid thirties, I entered covenant with YHWH, following Messiah, and headed back to His plan!  It would still be a few more years before I realized, Big Pharma was not a part of His plan for my life, yet I was still called to serve in a healing ministry.  Such a paradox in this pharmaceutically dependent Christian nation . . .

Within 7 years of attempting to balance between mainstream medicine and remedies of our Creator, as well as the synagogue and church, I realized there was no balance in any of that, so, I stepped out.  I gave up trying to participate in what is recognized as "complementary health" and have not had so much as a Tylenol in my home since.  I also accepted the fact that the Christians seem to believe Torah obedience is legalism and is in opposition to grace.  Those two realizations made life a bit less complicated, but a great deal more isolated.  I truly began walking in my call by the Passover before 9/11.  Don't get me wrong, there have been some stumbles, fumbles, and pitfalls along the way, but the direction of the path has remained constant, although the width has continued to narrow.

Fast forward now, to February 2013, when "Wilt Thou Be Made Whole?" was published, authored by yours truly, life had already changed dramatically for me, on many levels.  It would be two years nearly to the day, that a long lost desire of my heart would be made manifest.  In the realization that I would be heading to the Cherokee nation with the Good News and healing, I have spent a few days in Oklahoma looking for the location in which I'd set up.  I would always smile and make some comment as I went past the "Cherokee Queen Hotel."  I felt a draw there, but hadn't yet realized it was part of The Plan.  In looking for real estate, and/or commercial property, with a cash ready offer; I couldn't even get a realtor to call me back . . . but I knew I had to be in The Nation on a certain date.

By that time, I realized, there was a step between hearing more, and the implementation, so I made a reservation for a room at The Cherokee Queen.  Since there's no garden this year, and the kids weren't yet due, homestead maintenance was minimal, so, I planned a private "retreat/advance" prayer time.  It's a good thing I stepped out on that date, because seven kids have arrived since my "divine appointment."  Without divulging a confidentiality, I had the opportunity I'd longed for.  Through the course of a chat in the lobby, I was able to offer a minimal reflexology treatment with oil for anointing . . . For years, I've longed to be able to just walk up to someone and offer to lay hands on them and anoint their feet in the Name of Y'hshuwah . . . The individual was receptive which brought about a time of rejoicing as well as an opportunity.  The door into the Cherokee Nation came through that divine appointment at The Cherokee Queen.

What Am I Missing?

Am I missing something in this latest "gender identity" issue, or am I calloused?  My opinion is; my gender identity is not based upon who identifies with me, or even if I identify with stereotypical mainstream.  I am what and who I was created to be!  I am female, and although I am my father's daughter and I'm not perfect, I was born into the right body, while my brain and emotions understand and embrace my uniqueness!  I truly believe what I am missing is the confusion that is being introduced.  I read a blog in which a pregnant mother proclaims that she asked her son and daughter, 6 and 3 respectively, what they hoped the new baby would be.  She wrote, they conferred, giggled, then announced they'd like a transgendered sibling . . . since there was already a  boy and a girl.  So, have we gotten to the point in society that the only people who can verbally recognize only two genders are those who are embracing the list of "potential variables?"

 I am truly saddened when I see all this programming and recruiting taking place now, as I remember my childhood a half century ago.  We had the privilege of knowing who and what we were, by simple anatomical identification.  Regardless of rope climbing, creek wading, and scrub baseball, I, like Elly Mae Clampett, knew I was a girl.  As it turns out, and stands to this day, male genitalia is not required to enjoy outdoor activities and sports.  Also confirmed is the fact that one need not identify with a specific community to enjoy non-stereotypical interests.

As a young child, my mother continuously harped at Daddy, that he was encouraging me to be a tomboy.  Truth be told, it was her harping, haranguing, and micromanaging that encouraged me to stay out of the house . . . but that's a topic for another day.  I identified with Daddy in a number of areas, and see no reason whatsoever that these interests must  be in accordance with a specific gender or reproductive anatomy.  I was a tiny little girl in hunting photos.  Before I could ride a bike, I remember driving my home made go-cart, designed and built by Daddy, Grandpa, and Uncle Earl.  As a middle aged adult woman, I jokingly refer to myself as "the unson" of the family.  As I wrote that last sentence, I may have discovered exactly what it is that I'm missing.  Perhaps, it's the programming that one needs to "belong" that is making so many young people so vulnerable to this aggressive agenda.  Many just long to have a place to belong, to be a part of something and to share an identity.  I accepted my exclusion early on, and it has simply been a part of my identity as well, but there was no pushy agenda trying to recruit me . . . or perhaps the LGBT community didn't want me either.  LOL.

My mother says we just don't see anything the same.  My sister hasn't spoken to me in years.  One of my daughters and one of my nieces has blocked me and unfriended me on social media and not quietly, I might add.  One of my granddaughters has followed the lead of her mother but recently refriended me to what feels like stalking my facebook wall and trolling my posts.  Many church ladies have their panties in a twist and in real time avoided me, in social media; unfriend me,  yet I've not been unfriendly to them.  I do not back down from my convictions, and those convictions now include the revelation that rejection of a person may indeed drive them to a more accepting group.  For me, that's been fine as I've simply never minded being the only woman in a group of male friends or at the worksite.  

I've always had male friends.  Straight men don't have so many emotional rules in getting along, so it's been quite comfortable for me to be a sort of non-sexual woman.  My womanhood has not been challenged or questioned by myself or my peers.   What I'm seeing here, though, is the possibility that the introduction of acceptance and the early programming by this agenda may be the catalyst to so many young people being "gender variant" as the blogging pregnant mom referenced in regard to one of her 3 year old's friends in preschool or daycare.  That leads me to the next "what am I missing?"

Many day cares do receive federal funding and of course, the head start program is a government program . . .  Although I do know some folks of my generation who identify gay or lesbian, and we can certainly read about old guys at this late stage in life, deciding they'd like to have long hair and firm breasts, but it wasn't programmed and they weren't recruited as three year olds.  I simply can't help but believe, what was missing 50 years ago is the early programming.  The agenda of gender confusion had not yet been implemented and introduced.  The "diagnosis" of homosexuality was entirely removed from the third edition of the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) in 1986, but gender dysphoria was added to the fifth edition in it's own category, as an issue for children. 

Since that time, the agenda and recruitment has gained momentum, exponentially.    

Morality or Personal Issues?

Many of us claim to base our code of morality on Scripture, but I've also noticed we tend to weave our own hangups and issues into the equation.  Now, obviously, "thou shalt not kill" and "thou shalt not steal" seem to be pretty universally accepted even by those who believe the law has been done away with.  The first four commandments appear to be open to interpretation by most, while the fifth depends upon the religious leaning of the parents demanding honor.  Meanwhile, our society has redefined the term "covet" and "bearing false witness against" seems to be categorized differently than actually lying.  Diplomacy and political campaigns are certainly exempt from the standard of straight honesty.  Speaking of straight, the seventh commandment, "thou shalt not commit adultery" seems to cover a myriad of social sexual issues.  Which brings me to the actual topic.

How many of us actually base our view of sexual morality on our own experience and/or our own insecurities?  As a former "serial bride" I now tend to lean toward a more fundamental interpretation regarding marriage after a divorce, for myself.  I am no longer a proponent of state licensure for the marriage covenant, but I do believe one must be free from any state obligation before entering another relationship.  I also believe there should be some sort of "official religious" recognition or announcement before the relationship is consummated.  Again, this is my perspective, based upon my own experience, and this perspective has been gained by my failure rate and insecurity.  I rarely address the topic of marriage,because I know in my heart of hearts, my perspective is based upon failure, rather than spiritual conviction.  I have no success story to offer!

When I wasn't following Messiah, how could I even presume that any marriage I entered was a covenant ordained by our Creator?  That is not to say, the marriages of folks who marry before becoming believers can't be fully blessed when they become believers, because I've seen it happen.  I rejoice for them in their blessed union!  Some of us have simply not found our soul mate, and I believe some of us, primarily women, do not necessarily have an earthly soul mate.  Scripture says, "It's not good that man should be alone."  It doesn't really say that about women.  There are passages that say woman was made for man, but the context is usually in addressing the leadership position and order of the household.

In my own life, I have had to recognized, this is simply not an area of life in which I am equipped for success.  My last husband and I are not soul mates, nor do we desire physical intimacy with each other, so unless one of us were to desire an intimate relationship with someone else, a divorce is unnecessary.Then again, if one of us already had a new partner in mind, a divorce for remarriage would be adultery . . .  I can't speak for him, but I have accepted and embrace the fact I do not require physical intimacy in life and an un-divorce continues to provide a covering that avoids awkward social situations.  As for my last husband, even though his rejection really hurt my feelings at first, I am completely free of guilt in the way the situation has unfolded.  I do hold to the truth, however; my situation is unique to me and certainly must not be presented as a standard of morality for others, other than to agree with Paul that not all of us burn with passion.

Understanding, Accepting, and Agreeing

I'm not talking about hypocrisy when I say I think many folks on the internet hope to have a more respected presence online than they receive in real time.  I was blessed to not hope for that, and so far, it's been confirmed, I am just as socially awkward online as I am in person.  The same problems that plagued friendship and fellowship in real time, plague social media and an internet presence.  By that same token, the same strengths and knowledgeable insight are appreciated.  I do have to say this, however.  The internet has truly afforded me an appreciation of my own awkwardness and the joy of embracing the uniqueness of others.

A great deal of thought began stirring within, when FB announced a change in it's data policy and terms of service.  It seems so easy to just click accept, and becoming easier to sign contracts that are explained to us, rather than actually reading that to which we are agreeing.  Taking the condensed version of another, especially when free or the "complain and comply" method just won't work for me.  I am not necessarily distrustful of others, but I do feel there is a definite agenda to desensitize people to "go along to get along" and to be compliant because it's already in place.  I realize the NSA can read my mail and listen to my phone conversations.  I know google earth has taken pictures of my place, but I didn't agree to that!  That involves "the" integrity of those entities or lack thereof; not mine.  I was angry when the spying began and folks would say, "if you've got nothing to hide, you've got nothing to worry about."  That tag line has existed since shortly after 9/11.  I didn't like it then and and I still don't like it now.  I don't have anything to hide, but I do hold a certain level of privacy to be a part of freedom.

Back to being the same on and off line.  When I buy a vehicle, I read the paperwork.  I want to know what is involved with the warranty, mileage, etc.  When I buy real estate, I don't want the realtor's version of what they think I need to know, I want to read the full disclosure and the contract I'm signing.  As technology continues to increase in our lives, I feel the need to understand the terms of service, data policy, and use of cookies, or at least make an attempt to do so.  The future of this country and the world is being managed by technology and recorded digitally.  In the very near future, understanding the use of search engine cookies may be more important than we realize, especially now that our health care is part of the big system.