I found myself in quite a predicament, this past preparation day. Thursday, I'd gotten myself all "prettied up," well the best I could do anyway, to do some videos. The production program for "BEFORE It Was HEADLINES It Was PROPHECY" is already set up on my office computer, so that went as planned. The instructional demonstration I did, however; was on a different computer and didn't go so well, but I didn't know it until the next morning. I went to bed just sure it would be a simple edit while I drank my morning coffee . . . I was terribly wrong.
With the realization that an instructional video required sound, and I'd already spent a great deal of time trying to make that happen, I had no choice but to re-do the video. That may sound like no big deal, but believe me it was a big deal! The biggest part of the problem was, I still didn't know how to fix the problem. I've had a hate/hate relationship with this computer since I bought it. It was very important to me, to not use the ministry set for business, which is why I was trying to operate with a different computer in a different location. With that priority in mind, I decided to install some new software in a computer that I preferred.
As you have already probably surmised, preparation day was slipping by. I knew two things as this project was now expanded into two days. The first realization that came to me was the idea that the first video was not what it needed to be. Either I had omitted something important or added too much, or just nervously rambled . . . I'll never know with no sound. I've come to accept redos in media ministry, and am actually quite grateful to have a second chance.
The second thing that occurred to me, though, was just as profound, but new to my awareness. I've scheduled my life around Preparation Day and Shabbat for so many years, I guess it just had never come up before. I've tried to tie up loose ends on Thursday to keep Preparation day open for baking, cooking, and cleaning, but this time there was a new variable. I'd given my word to some people and I needed to do everything in my power to deliver on that promise before Shabbat began. So, I had til sunset and the sun wasn't waiting.
The following is not an exact quote from a verse in Scripture, included in one of my favorite services in the Prayer Book, "that we keep our word, regardless of the personal cost." As the sun was sailing across the sky on preparation day, I simply asked YHWH to help me get that video accomplished and bring glory to Him. An experimental dinner was already planned and "official" Passover housecleaning begins at the new moon, and YHWH answered my prayer in the affirmative. Before sunset, the critters were fed and watered, dinner was in the oven, a double batch of non-GMO popcorn was popped, the old fashioned way . . . and this video was published to youtube. As for the rest, a traditional routine is not nearly as important as a promise kept!
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Sunday, March 23, 2014
My Father's Business or Busy-ness
In all my promotion of time management and no waste, I have been known to just be busy! Being busy for the sake of being busy is not good time management. Spending time on something that is not the Father's plan for me is just as wasteful as any other way we find to "kill time." Being pointlessly busy may actually be worse, in that it spends energy and takes focus that could be better directed. I've had two things on my mind these past couple of weeks, and I know I won't be doing both, at least not concurrently on the immediate horizon.
As I have become more aware of time and energy, I spent some time listening and energy praying about these two matters. I also asked a sister to pray for me about this "opportunity." She received a very specific directive which she shared with me. Prayer is definitely time and energy well spent. Both of these matters may well be on the horizon, but one situation involves another individual's free will and choice, so . . . that particular project is clearly not in my hands, and is at this point dependent upon the other person spending time in prayer. The only time and energy I am to devote to this situation at this time, is to keep this individual in my prayers. The other situation has been confirmed for me to begin, but it will still be awhile before it is to be launched.
In looking back at the past month, I now realize I had to come to terms with a particular fact of life, and accept the shalom of YHWH in the matter, before this next step could take place. I'm so thankful He doesn't show us the entire plan at once. Knowing me, I'd have just bustled right on in and skipped very vital steps. He has brought me to a new acceptance of life, and much to my amazement, I no longer want my old method of resolution. This is a big step in my spiritual journey. This epiphany truly has brought a different understanding than I was expecting.
We don't have to focus on what we don't want or where we are lacking. We don't have to stay so busy that we miss the real plan, and we don't have to try to change our own mindset or ask that our weaknesses be strengthened. When we truly focus on following Messiah and seek to be busy about our Father's business, we don't have to try to change our mind, we are given the mind of Messiah! We don't have to have our weaknesses strengthened, YHWH strength is made perfect in our weakness . . . Praying is seeking YHWH, and He promises to show us great and mighty things we do not know! He doesn't have to use flash cards as we offer rushed prayers.
The life He has planned for us is so much better than we can work out for ourselves!
As I have become more aware of time and energy, I spent some time listening and energy praying about these two matters. I also asked a sister to pray for me about this "opportunity." She received a very specific directive which she shared with me. Prayer is definitely time and energy well spent. Both of these matters may well be on the horizon, but one situation involves another individual's free will and choice, so . . . that particular project is clearly not in my hands, and is at this point dependent upon the other person spending time in prayer. The only time and energy I am to devote to this situation at this time, is to keep this individual in my prayers. The other situation has been confirmed for me to begin, but it will still be awhile before it is to be launched.
In looking back at the past month, I now realize I had to come to terms with a particular fact of life, and accept the shalom of YHWH in the matter, before this next step could take place. I'm so thankful He doesn't show us the entire plan at once. Knowing me, I'd have just bustled right on in and skipped very vital steps. He has brought me to a new acceptance of life, and much to my amazement, I no longer want my old method of resolution. This is a big step in my spiritual journey. This epiphany truly has brought a different understanding than I was expecting.
We don't have to focus on what we don't want or where we are lacking. We don't have to stay so busy that we miss the real plan, and we don't have to try to change our own mindset or ask that our weaknesses be strengthened. When we truly focus on following Messiah and seek to be busy about our Father's business, we don't have to try to change our mind, we are given the mind of Messiah! We don't have to have our weaknesses strengthened, YHWH strength is made perfect in our weakness . . . Praying is seeking YHWH, and He promises to show us great and mighty things we do not know! He doesn't have to use flash cards as we offer rushed prayers.
The life He has planned for us is so much better than we can work out for ourselves!
Sunday, March 16, 2014
Freedom Beyond Self
I've had a personal struggle for four weeks that finally has been resolved . . . I think. Last month, I chose to focus on an area of my life that has remained unresolved for several years. That one area is unpleasant and awkward, while most of the rest of my life is fantastic! Obviously, it was a choice of self-pity and I certainly displaced my attitude of gratitude for a time, but Y'hshuwah patiently showed me some simple facts, one being, it was time to get over myself.
By the laws of YHWH, I am a desolate wife. My husband rejected me years ago, but refused to get a divorce . . . Yet, by the laws of the land, I'm still married. Now he's disabled, so I feel very obligated to refrain from filing for divorce myself. That is big in the life of someone who prefers resolution and closure. It was the first week in March, when I found myself replacing 3 boxes of tissues throughout the house, that I finally got tired of my self-pity party. Three boxes of tissues in nearly three weeks is about 200 tissues a week, nearly 30 a day! That's a lot of tissues, a lot of tears, and for what? Something I've known for years. Why it got me this year, I can't really say, but Y'hshuwah reminded me of a couple of things He said nearly 2,000 years ago, and a couple of things He's reminded me of in the past 20 years.
First, "You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free!" I've heard that, read that, and repeated it for years. As a matter of fact, back in my original e-mail profile, I posted it as "my favorite quote." He then reminded me of the Scripture I "heard," 20 years ago. John 4:18 For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly. The truth is, the guy that promised to love, honor, and cherish me, changed his mind. That's the truth, now, what am I going to do about it?
I chose to be free in the acceptance. The only way an undivorce affects my life, is the way I allow it to. I am free to be the bride of Messiah. I am free to serve YHWH. I am free to work this homestead. I am free to have a business. I am free to be a journalist and writer. I am free to fellowship. I am free to be a part of the five fold ministry. I am even free to establish and host a remnant community. The only thing I am not free to do, I don't want to do anyway. Now how ridiculous was I for those three weeks?
I don't want to reconcile, and I sure don't want to remarry, and I don't want to date or "play house." My life is the way I want it, so why was I so silly? In a word, "Self." I had chosen to focus on the one area I thought was not right, by worldly standards. I know people who are basically happily married to people who do not share their beliefs. I know people who have chosen to move on in relationships without a divorce. I also know folks who have a very blessed relationship and truly believe they are with their soul mate. The point is, the rejection hurt my feelings! I wanted to be free of that hurt, and I thought a legal finality would bind that wound. But Y'hshuwah showed me, an earthly "binding" is not the freedom He offers, and can actually be bondage. When I truly realized I'd been looking at self, I had taken my eyes off of Y'hshuwah, which robbed me of the true understanding of what it is to be free.
When I think of what Y'hshuwah went through for me, I know I truly am loved; and the life our Heavenly Father has bestowed upon me truly is as much freedom as one can possibly have in this world. There is no "I" in the word FREE.
By the laws of YHWH, I am a desolate wife. My husband rejected me years ago, but refused to get a divorce . . . Yet, by the laws of the land, I'm still married. Now he's disabled, so I feel very obligated to refrain from filing for divorce myself. That is big in the life of someone who prefers resolution and closure. It was the first week in March, when I found myself replacing 3 boxes of tissues throughout the house, that I finally got tired of my self-pity party. Three boxes of tissues in nearly three weeks is about 200 tissues a week, nearly 30 a day! That's a lot of tissues, a lot of tears, and for what? Something I've known for years. Why it got me this year, I can't really say, but Y'hshuwah reminded me of a couple of things He said nearly 2,000 years ago, and a couple of things He's reminded me of in the past 20 years.
First, "You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free!" I've heard that, read that, and repeated it for years. As a matter of fact, back in my original e-mail profile, I posted it as "my favorite quote." He then reminded me of the Scripture I "heard," 20 years ago. John 4:18 For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly. The truth is, the guy that promised to love, honor, and cherish me, changed his mind. That's the truth, now, what am I going to do about it?
I chose to be free in the acceptance. The only way an undivorce affects my life, is the way I allow it to. I am free to be the bride of Messiah. I am free to serve YHWH. I am free to work this homestead. I am free to have a business. I am free to be a journalist and writer. I am free to fellowship. I am free to be a part of the five fold ministry. I am even free to establish and host a remnant community. The only thing I am not free to do, I don't want to do anyway. Now how ridiculous was I for those three weeks?
I don't want to reconcile, and I sure don't want to remarry, and I don't want to date or "play house." My life is the way I want it, so why was I so silly? In a word, "Self." I had chosen to focus on the one area I thought was not right, by worldly standards. I know people who are basically happily married to people who do not share their beliefs. I know people who have chosen to move on in relationships without a divorce. I also know folks who have a very blessed relationship and truly believe they are with their soul mate. The point is, the rejection hurt my feelings! I wanted to be free of that hurt, and I thought a legal finality would bind that wound. But Y'hshuwah showed me, an earthly "binding" is not the freedom He offers, and can actually be bondage. When I truly realized I'd been looking at self, I had taken my eyes off of Y'hshuwah, which robbed me of the true understanding of what it is to be free.
When I think of what Y'hshuwah went through for me, I know I truly am loved; and the life our Heavenly Father has bestowed upon me truly is as much freedom as one can possibly have in this world. There is no "I" in the word FREE.
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Just Between Us Girls
Seems most any place in America the subject of modesty is being discussed. From social media, religious organizations, local cafes, and kitchen tables, the subject is open for debate, with breasts and cleavage usually being in the forefront. Pardon the pun.
I am rather buxom, and in my heathen days, I did not always dress modestly. I dressed appropriately for work, of course, but showing cleavage through my social hours was certainly not out of the question nor out of the ordinary. I'm not proud of that fact at all and it is something that changed when I became a believer. To be honest, it isn't even that I think I'll cause anyone to lust, it's just a matter of being covered, which brings me to my amazing discovery of this past week.
Monday morning was cold, bitter cold with a little snow on the ground, with a rather sizeable accumulation expected. As I did chores, the biting wind made it obvious that more winter weather was on the way. On days of rain or snow, I try to always have extra gloves with me. Just one grasp of a snowy gate clasp or wet feed barrel can render gloves wet and virtually useless in protection from the elements.
In preparing for Monday morning chores, I inadvertently came across the actual purpose for cleavage. Through the years, my cleavage has been a practical safe keeping for everything from a few extra dollars to tissues to a cell phone, but in all these years of homesteading this recent fact had eluded me, until this past Monday. I had bundled up, with a water repellent cover over my winter chore coat, so pockets were virtually inaccessible. In my haste to get outdoors, I almost forgot a second pair of gloves. When the thought did occur to me, I just grabbed the gloves and stuffed them down the front of my bra. That was much more accessible than trying to find the pockets that were layered under the "bundling up!"
Through chores that cold morning, my gloves did get wet and my hands cold, after a time. When I reached for the second pair of dry gloves, not only were they dry, they were warm. A second pair of gloves in my bra is now part of my winter essentials!
I am rather buxom, and in my heathen days, I did not always dress modestly. I dressed appropriately for work, of course, but showing cleavage through my social hours was certainly not out of the question nor out of the ordinary. I'm not proud of that fact at all and it is something that changed when I became a believer. To be honest, it isn't even that I think I'll cause anyone to lust, it's just a matter of being covered, which brings me to my amazing discovery of this past week.
Monday morning was cold, bitter cold with a little snow on the ground, with a rather sizeable accumulation expected. As I did chores, the biting wind made it obvious that more winter weather was on the way. On days of rain or snow, I try to always have extra gloves with me. Just one grasp of a snowy gate clasp or wet feed barrel can render gloves wet and virtually useless in protection from the elements.
In preparing for Monday morning chores, I inadvertently came across the actual purpose for cleavage. Through the years, my cleavage has been a practical safe keeping for everything from a few extra dollars to tissues to a cell phone, but in all these years of homesteading this recent fact had eluded me, until this past Monday. I had bundled up, with a water repellent cover over my winter chore coat, so pockets were virtually inaccessible. In my haste to get outdoors, I almost forgot a second pair of gloves. When the thought did occur to me, I just grabbed the gloves and stuffed them down the front of my bra. That was much more accessible than trying to find the pockets that were layered under the "bundling up!"
Through chores that cold morning, my gloves did get wet and my hands cold, after a time. When I reached for the second pair of dry gloves, not only were they dry, they were warm. A second pair of gloves in my bra is now part of my winter essentials!
Sunday, March 2, 2014
So Spoiled
Many people comment on how difficult this way of life must be. I'd hardly call this life, difficult. Different from mainstream, yes; but difficult, hardly! This isn't easy to admit, but in coming to understand how far our society is from our Creator's plan, I have to confess, I'm spoiled, spoiled rotten. This perspective is such a blessing in my life.
I don't have trouble falling asleep at night because there is enough physical work to make me tired, and when I awaken in the middle of the night, it isn't insomnia, it's a chance to commune with my Heavenly Father and precious Messiah. It's okay if I'm awake for two or three hours in the night, I don't have to drive to work in rush hour traffic at a specific time. I do have some roosters who get a bit testy about the chicken house door coming open before sunrise, but they just have to wait til dawn. There are goats who voice their insistence that it's time to start the day, when they hear me in the kitchen. Since they have access to food and water, I insist on one cup of coffee and a devotion before I go out. I really don't know how they know, in the winter with the windows closed that I'm stirring, but they do. I have no need for an alarm, it's these sounds of country life to which I awaken.
I am on a first name basis with my UPS man, and he gave me his personal cell number, as well as bringing treats for Hank when making a delivery or picking up my orders to go out. My trips to town are few and far between. Even in the season of garden dormancy, the cellar holds canning jars containing last year's crops. Did you know home grown canned tomatoes actually have more flavor than "fresh tomatoes" in the produce section in winter? I haven't bought anything but butter and cheese when it's on sale, in the dairy section, for nearly a decade, now. Milk and eggs are literally farm fresh, daily. My town purchases consist primarily of dog food, paper products, coffee and wine. I'm working on a coffee substitute and making wine, but neither is perfected yet!
I got rid of my television years before I moved to homesteading, so the fact that cable doesn't come to my neck o' the woods, doesn't matter. My life really doesn't require electronic entertainment, and if it did, I'm sure I could come up with somthing via internet. Even on line, I'd rather read than watch videos. Reading and gardening are among my favorite pass times. And who doesn't love baby animals? The adult animals are just pretty entertaining and interactive, as well. The gifts and interests I have, actually support my lifestyle! What a concept? I love helping people feel better, and the business I've been blessed to start offers exactly that!
So many people think I work very hard to live simply, but it's really just the opposite. In the time it's taken many people just to get their vehicles de-iced and ready to head to work, I've cracked all the stock tanks, checked the critters, and returned indoors to enjoy a nice leisurely cup of coffee. Every day, I get to basically plan my indoor schedule so I can do laundry and have dinner cooking while I'm working, not to mention, clean my house when I take a break to stretch my legs. I don't do any more work than other women, and far less than many, I'm sure; but by working from home, I can overlap so many tasks.
Several years ago while doing some traveling in ministry, I remember the voice of Abba telling me that mission work was not about geography. He gently told me the traveling was a blessing for that time, but my call did not involve physical traveling. I was very active at that time in community ministry, so even as I heard that, I didn't have the understanding of this plan! Now that I'm here doing what I'm doing, I realize I do not have to leave the place to literally take the Good News 'round the world.
I don't have trouble falling asleep at night because there is enough physical work to make me tired, and when I awaken in the middle of the night, it isn't insomnia, it's a chance to commune with my Heavenly Father and precious Messiah. It's okay if I'm awake for two or three hours in the night, I don't have to drive to work in rush hour traffic at a specific time. I do have some roosters who get a bit testy about the chicken house door coming open before sunrise, but they just have to wait til dawn. There are goats who voice their insistence that it's time to start the day, when they hear me in the kitchen. Since they have access to food and water, I insist on one cup of coffee and a devotion before I go out. I really don't know how they know, in the winter with the windows closed that I'm stirring, but they do. I have no need for an alarm, it's these sounds of country life to which I awaken.
I am on a first name basis with my UPS man, and he gave me his personal cell number, as well as bringing treats for Hank when making a delivery or picking up my orders to go out. My trips to town are few and far between. Even in the season of garden dormancy, the cellar holds canning jars containing last year's crops. Did you know home grown canned tomatoes actually have more flavor than "fresh tomatoes" in the produce section in winter? I haven't bought anything but butter and cheese when it's on sale, in the dairy section, for nearly a decade, now. Milk and eggs are literally farm fresh, daily. My town purchases consist primarily of dog food, paper products, coffee and wine. I'm working on a coffee substitute and making wine, but neither is perfected yet!
I got rid of my television years before I moved to homesteading, so the fact that cable doesn't come to my neck o' the woods, doesn't matter. My life really doesn't require electronic entertainment, and if it did, I'm sure I could come up with somthing via internet. Even on line, I'd rather read than watch videos. Reading and gardening are among my favorite pass times. And who doesn't love baby animals? The adult animals are just pretty entertaining and interactive, as well. The gifts and interests I have, actually support my lifestyle! What a concept? I love helping people feel better, and the business I've been blessed to start offers exactly that!
So many people think I work very hard to live simply, but it's really just the opposite. In the time it's taken many people just to get their vehicles de-iced and ready to head to work, I've cracked all the stock tanks, checked the critters, and returned indoors to enjoy a nice leisurely cup of coffee. Every day, I get to basically plan my indoor schedule so I can do laundry and have dinner cooking while I'm working, not to mention, clean my house when I take a break to stretch my legs. I don't do any more work than other women, and far less than many, I'm sure; but by working from home, I can overlap so many tasks.
Several years ago while doing some traveling in ministry, I remember the voice of Abba telling me that mission work was not about geography. He gently told me the traveling was a blessing for that time, but my call did not involve physical traveling. I was very active at that time in community ministry, so even as I heard that, I didn't have the understanding of this plan! Now that I'm here doing what I'm doing, I realize I do not have to leave the place to literally take the Good News 'round the world.
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