I certainly can't complain about my health. Like most folks in my age range, there are a few things that just don't work like they used to. Also like many folks, I certainly wish I'd taken better care of myself when I was younger. If I were a vehicle, I'd say I put on too many miles on rough terrain and now the warranty is up, but thankfully I'm a work of the Creator's hand. I'm doing a lot more than many and certainly feel better than I deserve to.
My grand uncle used to say he'd rather wear out as rust out . . . which brings me to this week's topic. I've mentioned before that I have MS and RA. I don't suffer nearly as bad as many do with these auto-immune diseases, but these afflictions do remind me of their presence, regularly. This past week, the RA really made itself known, thus the title. The rheumatoid arthritis knocked me for a bit of a loop. I still got my pumpkin canned and met my usual responsibilities; well most of them, but I was in pain. I didn't have as much strength as I'm used to and I found myself struggling with tasks that had never before been an issue. Now when that happens, the first thought that invades my brain is the idea that it may never get better. It's always going to be this difficult and painful. I do my best to cast that thought out, as that is just borrowing trouble. I'm not a good patient. I get on my own nerves when I don't feel up to par.
You may disagree with me on this, but I believe most acquired illness has a spiritual root, and emotional factors. I'm not talking about congenital issues, but acquired issues. There are just too many examples in Scripture in which Messiah connected wellness and forgiveness; to ignore. Then there is the fact that in the Hebrew Scriptures, the people were instructed to present their maladies to the High Priest, not to mention James 5:15. As a natural health practitioner, I always seek our Creator in helping others and I've done some real soul searching regarding my own health.
I fully attribute my MS to internally melting down as a coping mechanism. It may be something else for others, but that makes total sense in my life and situation. In handling this disease from that perspective, I've let go of a number of battles that are not mine and although Abba has not chosen to grant me a full healing at this time, I'm very blessed to continue to be quite functional. My gait is a bit awkward, and I'm a bit of a klutz, but I rarely suffer the fatigue so many experience. I've dealt with many others who suffer RA and there is nearly always an underlying embrace and rejection issue. A sort of push/pull situation in their life. As it turns out, I'm not 'an exception to this theory.
As I've sought to have Abba's love in me, or to love as He loves, the reality has hit that I'm still guarded in a few areas of this endeavor. He's placed me in the perfect situations to love without necessarily being loved in return, or worse, but I'm not yet fully trusting His protection in those situations. This emotional push pull reality is more of a spiritual outreach or attempted embrace, then shield, withdraw or recoil. It's not easy to do what Messiah did and what He taught. This "loving our enemy" business is painful, especially when we try to protect ourselves. Hopefully, now that I've actually recognized it, I'll be able to love without fear, and trust Abba for the protection. This is not a "name it and claim it," "blab it and grab it," "declare and decree" statement, but a simple statement of fact of faith. RA will not continue to make this princess feel puny!
Sunday, October 26, 2014
Sunday, October 19, 2014
Something Special
The week of Sukkot was wonderful. The entire seventh month was just so very special. It always is, but this year seemed especially spiritual and significant. With all the uncertainty in the world right now, it was very comforting and reassuring to know these Feast Days of YHUH are forever! There is a time coming in which we'll all be celebrating in the physical presence of Y'hshuah. There's also a time coming in which we'll all be celebrating on the same days!
At this point in my walk, I observe the concealed moon as the first day of the new month. I've observed others along the way, but this one seems right to me. Of course, the others did too, at the time, which is why I'm saying, "at this point." There have consistently been three days between my celebration of Yom Teruah and those who go by the sighted sliver, with those who maintain the new month at the lunar conjunction, between the two. This got me thinking about the seventh month and the fact that even though we aren't all on the same date, there are many celebrating and that covers nearly the entire month.
As previously mentioned there were four days in which someone was celebrating Yom Teruah. That means the last celebration of Yom Teruah was less than a week before the first folks would be observing Yom Kippur. By the time those four days of observance were accomplished, the very next day would be the first day of Sukkot for those who keep the concealed moon calculations. Yesterday would have been the final day of Sukkot for the sighted sliver "folk" while it was the 25th day on the calendar I keep. I'm saying all this for two really great reasons . . . I think.
First, it was so wonderful to speak with others celebrating on a different day and none of us argued our own observation, we simply wished each other Happy Holy Days. The second observation, I've made this year is just how many days were truly set apart by those seeking to celebrate these appointed times. There are less than ten days in this entire month that were not set apart by someone! That doesn't even cover the people who are keeping other calendars and celebrated earlier.
I'm not suggesting that the specific day doesn't matter, but rather we all truly are trying to please Abba and not be divisive! It seems the desire for holiness is superseding the need to be right and that is something special!
At this point in my walk, I observe the concealed moon as the first day of the new month. I've observed others along the way, but this one seems right to me. Of course, the others did too, at the time, which is why I'm saying, "at this point." There have consistently been three days between my celebration of Yom Teruah and those who go by the sighted sliver, with those who maintain the new month at the lunar conjunction, between the two. This got me thinking about the seventh month and the fact that even though we aren't all on the same date, there are many celebrating and that covers nearly the entire month.
As previously mentioned there were four days in which someone was celebrating Yom Teruah. That means the last celebration of Yom Teruah was less than a week before the first folks would be observing Yom Kippur. By the time those four days of observance were accomplished, the very next day would be the first day of Sukkot for those who keep the concealed moon calculations. Yesterday would have been the final day of Sukkot for the sighted sliver "folk" while it was the 25th day on the calendar I keep. I'm saying all this for two really great reasons . . . I think.
First, it was so wonderful to speak with others celebrating on a different day and none of us argued our own observation, we simply wished each other Happy Holy Days. The second observation, I've made this year is just how many days were truly set apart by those seeking to celebrate these appointed times. There are less than ten days in this entire month that were not set apart by someone! That doesn't even cover the people who are keeping other calendars and celebrated earlier.
I'm not suggesting that the specific day doesn't matter, but rather we all truly are trying to please Abba and not be divisive! It seems the desire for holiness is superseding the need to be right and that is something special!
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Feeling Free
It seems the time before the High Holy Days and the external circumstances around them, become even more stressful as the end of days unfold. These past few weeks, I've apparently disappointed a few folk, and they've been quite verbal in their expression. My main concern, of course, is whether or not I've disappointed my Heavenly Father or our precious Messiah. As it turns out, this year, much of the verbalized disappointment is nothing more than false accusations. I'm not claiming perfection, here, but simply acknowledging the fact some folks are just disappointed in their own expectations and believe it is their right to vent. That's not my business. I'm finding the need to seek Abba in some other areas of my life that I feel need improvement or change. The opinions of others is something I've finally received victory over! HalleluYah!
Nearly three years ago, Abba told me to enlarge the tent. Things seemed to finally be going fairly well with the family, but as we all know appearances can be deceiving. The expansion plan was under way in no time, and I really hoped I knew who would be needing the space. Within two months of the project, with one room completed and the other nearing completion, the worst revelation imaginable came to me and came clearly. Although, now in looking back, it could have been worse. I could have stepped out of Abba's Will, and realized the truth, after the fact! Thank G-d for the revelation! In that revelation, I learned I can be cordial, I can be gracious, even helpful, but without compromise. When the pressure was turned up, I refused to back down. As it turns out, the truth that was always lying just under the surface, became known and that was that. No turning back, no looking back, and finally true peace in that fact. This taught me a great deal about dealing with many less traumatic events and relationships in life.
According to Messiah's parable, there are four kinds of people. Many Torah based prayer books confirm this. So, basically we all fit into one of four categories. What I've learned, however; is not so much to categorize people, but to recognize what people prefer to emit or display and my own reaction to certain instances. It has greatly reduced the stress, but it hasn't done a lot for my popularity or appearance of normal.
1. If a person is reaching out in searching for truth, reach back with the reason for the hope that is in me. These are the people who need encouragement! Effort expended in other areas can actually rob us of the energy for this precious task.
2. If a person is venting about someone else, be careful in what is said, as only one side of the story is being told, and there are always two sides to any story, often a third.
3. If a person appears to be skimming over the issues or making a goal of searching, it's basically superficial so as always, hope for the best but avoid expectations.
4. If the person is directly accusatory or comes across as a self-proclaimed victim, realize for the time being, they already have the script written . . . there is no need to introduce any different concepts. I've learned and continue to learn . . . to acknowledge their feelings, without taking part in the acceptance or dispersal of blame.
In dealing with people from those four approaches, I find I'm not so unstable or unsteady. I can assess the situation and respond according to what is appropriate. When I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong, but I do not let anyone else put the words in my mouth. When I apologize and I frequently do, I apologize for what I understand I've done wrong and seek forgiveness of that for which I'm repentant. It isn't always the same thing as the accusation! I've come to realize that apologizing for every accusation or feeling like I must always be on egg shells or defensive, is a very dishonest way to live. Facing the truth and standing on that truth, is really quite freeing.
Nearly three years ago, Abba told me to enlarge the tent. Things seemed to finally be going fairly well with the family, but as we all know appearances can be deceiving. The expansion plan was under way in no time, and I really hoped I knew who would be needing the space. Within two months of the project, with one room completed and the other nearing completion, the worst revelation imaginable came to me and came clearly. Although, now in looking back, it could have been worse. I could have stepped out of Abba's Will, and realized the truth, after the fact! Thank G-d for the revelation! In that revelation, I learned I can be cordial, I can be gracious, even helpful, but without compromise. When the pressure was turned up, I refused to back down. As it turns out, the truth that was always lying just under the surface, became known and that was that. No turning back, no looking back, and finally true peace in that fact. This taught me a great deal about dealing with many less traumatic events and relationships in life.
According to Messiah's parable, there are four kinds of people. Many Torah based prayer books confirm this. So, basically we all fit into one of four categories. What I've learned, however; is not so much to categorize people, but to recognize what people prefer to emit or display and my own reaction to certain instances. It has greatly reduced the stress, but it hasn't done a lot for my popularity or appearance of normal.
1. If a person is reaching out in searching for truth, reach back with the reason for the hope that is in me. These are the people who need encouragement! Effort expended in other areas can actually rob us of the energy for this precious task.
2. If a person is venting about someone else, be careful in what is said, as only one side of the story is being told, and there are always two sides to any story, often a third.
3. If a person appears to be skimming over the issues or making a goal of searching, it's basically superficial so as always, hope for the best but avoid expectations.
4. If the person is directly accusatory or comes across as a self-proclaimed victim, realize for the time being, they already have the script written . . . there is no need to introduce any different concepts. I've learned and continue to learn . . . to acknowledge their feelings, without taking part in the acceptance or dispersal of blame.
In dealing with people from those four approaches, I find I'm not so unstable or unsteady. I can assess the situation and respond according to what is appropriate. When I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong, but I do not let anyone else put the words in my mouth. When I apologize and I frequently do, I apologize for what I understand I've done wrong and seek forgiveness of that for which I'm repentant. It isn't always the same thing as the accusation! I've come to realize that apologizing for every accusation or feeling like I must always be on egg shells or defensive, is a very dishonest way to live. Facing the truth and standing on that truth, is really quite freeing.
Sunday, October 5, 2014
Not Esther?
What woman doesn't like to feel a little "princessy" once in awhile. I've never been one to enjoy the thought of just being ornamental, which as it turns out, is good. Otherwise, life would have been a real let down! Porcelain doll, I'm not, and kid gloves are not required but once in awhile, I'd still like to be "handled with care." That is not a loaded statement or one of innuendo, just once in awhile, a little pampering would be nice . . . I think. Not even pampering, just a comforting touch! That's it, a comforting touch. Again, let me reiterate; I miss ((HUGS))!
I've really been searching these past few years about the change I've sensed coming. I almost wrote soul searching, and for a time, I was quite introspective, but that was years ago. I've been searching and seeking Abba's answers in some strangely unresolved questions and situations for some time now, and all of the things He's brought to me and said, He'd already shown me, I just wasn't ready to see it. As it turns out, after praying to "Live the Bible," Abba has shown me passages that were "all mine." That's not to discount others, but simply passages that leapt off the page to me, for introspection, implementation, or experience.
In all honesty, I've not been the best of servants, but I've been outspoken and obedient to the point of being the target of false accusations and rejection. I truly do seek Abba that I may handle it graciously, but it hurts. It not only hurts my "human feelings," it hurts me that Messiah is disrespected and YHWH is discounted, as our society clings to traditions and self-defined images. When I pour out my tears on my couch as David mentioned in the Psalms, more than once, I've told Y'hshuwah, I need to feel his strong gentle touch. I need a hug! I just want to feel his big strong carpenter arms around me, and hear Him say, "Well done, I understand." It is then that he shows me, he is also hurt. While I'm sniveling about hurt feelings from some rant; He suffered, bled, and died for me as well as that ranting individual. He doesn't admonish me, nor condescend, but rather in His gentle, calming outstretched arms, I see the scars. It certainly puts my "human feelings" in perspective.
So, being "princessy" in the fairy tale sense is not my call, but I do know, it's not the princess part that is errant, but the fairy tale expectation; that is. Princess is not defined by earthly task or position, but rather simply by being a daughter of the King. I still remember hearing a sermon based upon Esther 4:14, knowing it was spoken to me, personally. As I reread Esther yet again, I rediscovered; her position as queen, not princess, was only for a greater work. She was placed in an unequally yoked position. Thankfully, my identity in Y'hshuwah has not been kept secret. I've been able to be open about my beliefs, quite open about my call, and my purpose.
As I look out the window and listen to the sounds of the homestead, I smile. This task to which I'm called, is the one for which Abba created me and equipped me. I can't imagine existing in the "kept life" that Esther lived . . . in a harem. Most of her time as queen was actually spent with tens, perhaps even hundreds of other women. Oy vey! How ill suited, I would be for that task. Some days may become wearisome in the need to be strong and sturdy, but He provides the strength! This is my place in the Kingdom for such a time as this.
I've really been searching these past few years about the change I've sensed coming. I almost wrote soul searching, and for a time, I was quite introspective, but that was years ago. I've been searching and seeking Abba's answers in some strangely unresolved questions and situations for some time now, and all of the things He's brought to me and said, He'd already shown me, I just wasn't ready to see it. As it turns out, after praying to "Live the Bible," Abba has shown me passages that were "all mine." That's not to discount others, but simply passages that leapt off the page to me, for introspection, implementation, or experience.
In all honesty, I've not been the best of servants, but I've been outspoken and obedient to the point of being the target of false accusations and rejection. I truly do seek Abba that I may handle it graciously, but it hurts. It not only hurts my "human feelings," it hurts me that Messiah is disrespected and YHWH is discounted, as our society clings to traditions and self-defined images. When I pour out my tears on my couch as David mentioned in the Psalms, more than once, I've told Y'hshuwah, I need to feel his strong gentle touch. I need a hug! I just want to feel his big strong carpenter arms around me, and hear Him say, "Well done, I understand." It is then that he shows me, he is also hurt. While I'm sniveling about hurt feelings from some rant; He suffered, bled, and died for me as well as that ranting individual. He doesn't admonish me, nor condescend, but rather in His gentle, calming outstretched arms, I see the scars. It certainly puts my "human feelings" in perspective.
So, being "princessy" in the fairy tale sense is not my call, but I do know, it's not the princess part that is errant, but the fairy tale expectation; that is. Princess is not defined by earthly task or position, but rather simply by being a daughter of the King. I still remember hearing a sermon based upon Esther 4:14, knowing it was spoken to me, personally. As I reread Esther yet again, I rediscovered; her position as queen, not princess, was only for a greater work. She was placed in an unequally yoked position. Thankfully, my identity in Y'hshuwah has not been kept secret. I've been able to be open about my beliefs, quite open about my call, and my purpose.
As I look out the window and listen to the sounds of the homestead, I smile. This task to which I'm called, is the one for which Abba created me and equipped me. I can't imagine existing in the "kept life" that Esther lived . . . in a harem. Most of her time as queen was actually spent with tens, perhaps even hundreds of other women. Oy vey! How ill suited, I would be for that task. Some days may become wearisome in the need to be strong and sturdy, but He provides the strength! This is my place in the Kingdom for such a time as this.
Sunday, September 28, 2014
My Tiara Slipped
Since relocating, the time before and through the High Holy Days becomes challenging. I miss my Temple mishpocha. Challenging to the point I spend significant time seeking as to whether these pre-Holy Day challenges are chastisement or an attack. Correction just isn't a strong enough word to describe what takes place. It seems there's always an unexpected "breaking." Three years ago it was a religious separating; which was a door closing rather hard, but a new one opened. Two years ago, it was family and my arm, literally; chastisement and deliverance. Last year it was the realization of broken promises and hurdles toward the Plan, which seemed to be both, chastisement and attack; but nothing happens without Abba's consent.
This year, it was not as shocking as it has been in the past; but rather; even expected. As a matter of fact, I've gone back over the last few weeks with Abba, to make sure, since I'm not in shock and did expect it, that I didn't do anything to cause any of the breakdowns that have occurred. It's simply, sifting for the end of days. As the end of days continue to unfold, we have to realize, although we are sisters and brothers, we won't all get along in the same communities or camps.
I think I've been labeled and sent to the "legalism," "pretenders," "fallen from grace," and "Sacred Namer" camp. I can't possibly cover all that ground! Although I was publicly called out on a few of them, I'm not completely sure about all of them, though; as the proposed labels and publicly proclaimed offences were never brought to me privately, as Scripture instructs. It has seemed a great many are expressing annoyance, and I'm not sure I have covered that much ground, so I'm taking this opportunity as a platform to proclaim the truth I do know.
Since I wasn't there with Moses when the Voice came from the burning bush, I don't debate the pronunciation. That seems horribly disrespectful. I'd always thought the precise pronunciation and proper spelling of the English transliteration were the earmarks of the Sacred Namers, but that label may cover more than my understanding of it, I may be wrong. It seems anyone who offers the fact that Messiah's name is NOT Jesus and the fact that LORD is only a title qualifies for the dubious title of Sacred Namer. The fact that the King James Version of the Bible actually bears a dedication page to the King of England and King is a title of importance above a Lord should serve as a clear wake-up call, but . . . Then there is also the fact that the letter "J" did not even come into existence until sometime around 1500 AD.
Abba has used these recent breaks to remind me of part of my call, and the precious instruction given to me. In all of these projects, I've been slacking. It seems when the self-professed preachers and teachers of social media are willing to openly rebuke me or passively cause accusation, I prefer to leave quietly, without great confrontation, so as not to bring dishonor to our Heavenly Father, especially in front of unbelievers. Being unfriended by the religiously offended, really doesn't bother me.
Abba gave me beautiful feet, brought me to a mountain to proclaim the Good News and part of that good news is the True Name of our Creator and His Son, and the Names are Sacred! So Sacred, I refuse to argue about the pronunciation or the transliterated spelling; but also so sacred, I refuse to back down and say it doesn't matter!
Sunday, September 21, 2014
I'm Still a Woman
There is no identity crisis going on, there have just been some gentle, yet awkward reminders that I am still perceived as the weaker sex, with strengths. It's been nice, but so foreign. The wonderful thing about this, is it's not been any flirting or "come ons," or even comments about my appearance, but just casual comments made by men in reference to capability, hard work, and the way I care about people, critters, and business. Those are my attractive qualities! It's been nice in the past few weeks to hear that those traits are noticed, by the comments conveyed. I feel attractive when I am appreciated . . .
The different standard between the sexes is a must, in my book. That is to say, I appreciate the fact that men and women are indeed different and it's not a competition of rights. Every once in awhile, I remind myself as I'm coming in from chores, that this is how "real women" are supposed to be. I'm feminine but not dainty. I'm not fragile, but Scripture does say I'm the weaker vessel, and it's nice when Abba sends someone along to remind me of that fact.
Through the years, I've jokingly referred to myself as my Daddy's un-son. When he needed help with a project, I was his apprentice. He probably really didn't need the help at all, but wanted me to know how to be independent. I grew up knowing, I wasn't considered to be the feminine beauty my mom or sister were, so I needed to be able to take care of myself. I am a capable woman. I never play dumb or coy, and I take note that some men feel threatened by capable women. I've also noticed, as our society continues to decline that some men are willing to take advantage of a capable woman.
Most of the men I deal with are very respectful, and for the most part, it's business dealings. The guys at the auction are always respectful, as are the feed store owners, and I love the fact the young men at the market call me ma'am. As I'm writing this, I hope I convey an appreciation for qualities in others that are quickly being diminished in our society. When a man opens a door for me, I smile and say thank you. It feels nice to be reminded that I'm still a lady. I make eye contact with that gentleman! I read a meme awhile back which said something to the effect that our society has become so rude that good manners are often mistaken for flirtation.
I'm realistic enough to know the difference between good manners and flirtation! I appreciate good manners. I've been missing the days of the difference between men and women. It's been so nice to have been reminded the differences do still exist; and others appreciate, enjoy, and express that as well.
The different standard between the sexes is a must, in my book. That is to say, I appreciate the fact that men and women are indeed different and it's not a competition of rights. Every once in awhile, I remind myself as I'm coming in from chores, that this is how "real women" are supposed to be. I'm feminine but not dainty. I'm not fragile, but Scripture does say I'm the weaker vessel, and it's nice when Abba sends someone along to remind me of that fact.
Most of the men I deal with are very respectful, and for the most part, it's business dealings. The guys at the auction are always respectful, as are the feed store owners, and I love the fact the young men at the market call me ma'am. As I'm writing this, I hope I convey an appreciation for qualities in others that are quickly being diminished in our society. When a man opens a door for me, I smile and say thank you. It feels nice to be reminded that I'm still a lady. I make eye contact with that gentleman! I read a meme awhile back which said something to the effect that our society has become so rude that good manners are often mistaken for flirtation.
I'm realistic enough to know the difference between good manners and flirtation! I appreciate good manners. I've been missing the days of the difference between men and women. It's been so nice to have been reminded the differences do still exist; and others appreciate, enjoy, and express that as well.
Sunday, September 14, 2014
No Man
The other morning, as I was doing chores, the thought occurred to me that Y'hshuwah is the only man in the world who wants me! At least, He's the only one who knows me that wants me. The fact that He chose me, brings a smile to my heart, every time I think of it. My life is pretty special, but it's not everyone's cup of tea. I would have loved to share this with an earthly soulmate, but that doesn't appear to be Abba's plan for me. I still believe there will be a gathering here, but it will be more of a family/team situation . . .
I truly no longer expect some man to love me, see this vision, and embrace the whole package. I'm no Ruth and I'm not looking for a Boaz. Truthfully, I was hoping for that at one time; but my priorities have changed, as has my perspective of this ministry to which I'm called. Although I do not consider myself old, I'm aware of the fact my "beauty" must come from my spirit. I tend to make self-deprecating jokes about my physical form, but I know I'm special, in an outside of mainstream sort of way. I'm not one of those proponents of self-love, self-esteem, self . . self . . . self, but I do appreciate the woman, our Creator has made me to be.
My ex-husband saw some of this in me years ago, but I wasn't yet walking with Messiah. By the time I surrendered my life to YHWH, it was too late to save the marriage. I see photos every once in awhile of him with his wife and our grandchildren and I'm glad he's happy. I'm glad I didn't insist upon legalism. Sometimes people can be great folk, but just not a great couple, especially when they aren't following Messiah when they get together. That was the case for us. We hadn't been divorced very long, when his life became established as it is currently and I heard YHWH's specifics for this ministry. It was still some time of learning and growing for me before Abba brought me to the place I am now. I'm still learning . . . it will be a lifetime of learning. Simplicity still involves a great deal of learning, primarily because I'm relearning what our society abandoned in the name of progress.
Living a life of simplicity is busy, but not stressful. Working the land is certainly no desk job, yet the accomplishment at the end of each day makes for a good night's sleep. I don't have trouble falling asleep. Abba awakens me in the night for sweet communion and prayer. I snuggle back into my upright futon and sleep until I awake, refreshed. There's no need for an alarm, as the roosters crow just before dawn. I love the herd in my care, and the flocks are quite enjoyable. One of my dogs actually does speak. I truly love canning and preserving healthy food. When I read in social media about donuts and baked goods, I'm thankful that is not an area of temptation for me. Even living on garden produce, raw milk, and free range chicken, I'm far from petite.
Don't even get me started talking about natural health. Our Creator made so many amazing things for us! I love being earthy and natural, based upon Biblical truth. Natural formulas are not mainstream chemistry, but chemistry, none the less.
The absolute best thing about my not so average life, is knowing I am a daughter the King of the universe. My bridegroom loves me with an everlasting, unfailing love.
YHWH has appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee. Jeremiah 31:3
I truly no longer expect some man to love me, see this vision, and embrace the whole package. I'm no Ruth and I'm not looking for a Boaz. Truthfully, I was hoping for that at one time; but my priorities have changed, as has my perspective of this ministry to which I'm called. Although I do not consider myself old, I'm aware of the fact my "beauty" must come from my spirit. I tend to make self-deprecating jokes about my physical form, but I know I'm special, in an outside of mainstream sort of way. I'm not one of those proponents of self-love, self-esteem, self . . self . . . self, but I do appreciate the woman, our Creator has made me to be.
My ex-husband saw some of this in me years ago, but I wasn't yet walking with Messiah. By the time I surrendered my life to YHWH, it was too late to save the marriage. I see photos every once in awhile of him with his wife and our grandchildren and I'm glad he's happy. I'm glad I didn't insist upon legalism. Sometimes people can be great folk, but just not a great couple, especially when they aren't following Messiah when they get together. That was the case for us. We hadn't been divorced very long, when his life became established as it is currently and I heard YHWH's specifics for this ministry. It was still some time of learning and growing for me before Abba brought me to the place I am now. I'm still learning . . . it will be a lifetime of learning. Simplicity still involves a great deal of learning, primarily because I'm relearning what our society abandoned in the name of progress.
Living a life of simplicity is busy, but not stressful. Working the land is certainly no desk job, yet the accomplishment at the end of each day makes for a good night's sleep. I don't have trouble falling asleep. Abba awakens me in the night for sweet communion and prayer. I snuggle back into my upright futon and sleep until I awake, refreshed. There's no need for an alarm, as the roosters crow just before dawn. I love the herd in my care, and the flocks are quite enjoyable. One of my dogs actually does speak. I truly love canning and preserving healthy food. When I read in social media about donuts and baked goods, I'm thankful that is not an area of temptation for me. Even living on garden produce, raw milk, and free range chicken, I'm far from petite.
Don't even get me started talking about natural health. Our Creator made so many amazing things for us! I love being earthy and natural, based upon Biblical truth. Natural formulas are not mainstream chemistry, but chemistry, none the less.
The absolute best thing about my not so average life, is knowing I am a daughter the King of the universe. My bridegroom loves me with an everlasting, unfailing love.
YHWH has appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee. Jeremiah 31:3
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