A Royal Day

An article entitled "rattled," was already started for this week's edition, with a testimony that began with a rattling from my crown to my soles . . . but that is a testimony for "holy homesteading."  I had the most amazing day yesterday and I just have to share it.  The day, as usual began at evening; I was speaking with a pastor before the mid-week prayer meeting.  I love this gathering in particular.  It's an old fashioned prayer meeting with old songs and great testimonies.

I've been ministering in a church in the next state and they have an "expansion" plan.  Abba has been dealing with me regarding that situation and leading me to offer discipleship for new believers and full covenant relationship with all believers.  The Pastor lit up when I approached him on the subject.  He said he'd tried to put together a couple of discipleship teachings through the years, but things just hadn't worked out.  I was very simple, straightforward, and clear.  I said, I would use the Gospel according to John for the discipleship class, as it explained the plan of salvation, all the feasts, and the importance of obedience.  He nodded, smiled, and said, "It sure does.  Let's get this started in October."  Prayer meeting was a blessing and I headed home.

The morning began as always, prayer and contemplation just before the first hint of dawn.  I've been doing some morning stretches and it felt so good, I kept them up until the phone rang.  It was a gentleman who had called me last week, sounding absolutely broken.  His wife was in the hospital, had been for a few days, and the prognosis was quite grim.  She had some chronic health issues, then was given a medication in which there was a serious, near fatal reaction.  He said the doctors hadn't given him much hope and he wanted to know if I'd pray for her.  So, right then, on the phone, I did.  The next day, I checked with him and he said, they had a long way to go, but she'd made a turn and was heading the right direction.  Praise Abba!  I checked in again the following evening, his sons were there and although it was still serious, he was hopeful.  I continued to pray, but not wanting to intrude on family time, didn't call over the weekend . . . Tuesday morning I checked with him and he said, she was much improved, so much so, the kids had gone back home and to work.  He said they thought she'd be released in a week or so and were making arrangements for her to go to a convalescent center for a couple of weeks to regain her strength.  Every time I spoke with him, I'd mention a "thank G-d" or "HalleluYah" in the conversation.  Now, to the call this morning.  He was ecstatic, his beloved wife had come home Wednesday afternoon.  I was overwhelmed with thankfulness and joy.  In one week, that woman had gone from grave condition on a ventilator to home.  Definitely HalleluYah!!!

The next delight took my be complete surprise.  Someone very dear to me, had asked me for a recipe and as I was retrieving it from an old edition of the Goshen Gazette, I thought I'd just check on Amazon for a copy of my cook book and send a copy of "Sweet Memories and Happy Plates" to her as a gift.  Knowing the book was no longer in print, I wasn't sure if there'd be any more copies available.  Much to my surprise, no more new copies are available, but there is a used copy for a crazy price, which has apparently sold, now.

I certainly couldn't afford it . . . I loaned the computer with that book on it, to one of my daughters, who, after a week said the computer was beyond repair, so it truly is out of print.  Here I thought I'd have to be dead before any of my work was considered collectible!

Just as I was reeling from the joy of the phone call and the price of my "collectible" I had an appointment with newspaper ad department in the neighboring state.  I arrived and was met with a hug from a dear acquaintance of days gone by, then met the ad guy.  He's one of those folk whose last name is also a first name, so I awkwardly made acquaintance and we sat down to discuss the ads.  I handed him my card and the look on his face was simply priceless.  It was obvious that he did not know where to begin.  I then produced the catalogue, stating when I began the business in September 2011, it was going to be 8 kinds of soap, and that's ALL!  So we began sorting, as I wanted two separate ads, anyway.  One for the products and one to speak at youth groups, ladies groups, and churches about using our G-d given talents.  As we continued to sort and make notes, we got it all wrapped up pretty nicely, when he suggested I meet one of the reporters, as there's more to my "story" than will fit in an ad.  She was a delight and we have an appointment for Monday . . . I'll share updates as they come in.

As if this were not just an amazing day, we got home to discovering one of the bulls out and the other one sizing up the gap in the fence.  What could have been a real dilemma resulted in amazingly more than I could have asked or imagined.  Mr. B called the neighbor, and they met at the fence.   We were sure to let him know that our big guy was intact, as his herd is beef stock.    We soon discovered there were several weak spots and I was able to distract the one bull while the fence was reinforced.  I had visions of sitting in the back of a pickup with a feed bucket and a big bull following me through the pasture, but our neighbor, bless his heart, had a much better solution.  He said, "I'll just put him in my trailer and unload him at our adjoining gate.  I load and unload hundreds of cattle a day, this is no big deal."  That's precisely what he did.  The fence is now critter tight and Brisket was back home before dark.

All this took place in less than 24 hours!  I'm still in awe and oh so very thankful.
. . . feeling blessed beyond measure.

Praying . . .

Like a man after Yah's own heart.  Not that I am implying gender role issues in this very serious matter, but rather as people of the most High Elohim [EL ElYon] we do have an amazing collection of prayers written by the man who was called a man after Yah's own heart.  The Psalms, most of them, were written by King David.  Many, I'm sure, have written articles and books on praying the Psalms, as it is powerful!  There's no vain repetition here, unless we choose to just give lip service, as these prayers are deep.  Some of the Psalms are jubilant praise, while others come from the depth of despair.  The Psalms literally contains a prayer for nearly every issue any of might face.  Let's consider David's experiences and what probably brought joy as well as grief to his heart.

The first we know of young David was the fact he was a shepherd boy that had killed a lion and a bear.  That was his proposed qualification for facing Goliath.  
Thy servant slew both the lion and the bear: and this uncircumcised Philistine shall be as one of them, seeing he hath defied the armies of the living Elohim.  I Samuel 17:36  Most of us learned how that turned out, at a very young age.  It really didn't take much church or synagogue attendance to learn about the little shepherd boy with a sling shot; that slew the giant!  We also soon learn that he became the son-in-law of King Saul, but that marriage wasn't his memorable one.

King David was a mighty warrior, and even when Saul had turned on him, he still showed respect for the King.  Once the kingdom passed from Saul to David, David committed a couple of very grievous sins.  He lusted after another man's wife and acted upon that lust.  Bathsheba is often blamed by the religious folk, but considering she was on the roof bathing, she may not have known anyone was watching.  Torah commanded that Israel build a parapet around the roof for safety, and she may have never considered herself to be within anyone's view.  Obviously when David sent for her, she realized she'd been seen, but there were pretty serious consequences for refusing a King's order, so I'm just not sure how that scenario actually unfolded, but we do know there was adultery, and . . . ultimately murder.  The child that was conceived that night, died at a week old.  I'm sure David had some moments of heaviness and regret throughout his life over that fateful rendezvous, yet it was the second son with Bathsheba who would rule Israel in great wisdom, through years of peace and build the Temple.

David also experienced dysfunction in his family with a son trying to kill him, and a son raping a daughter, not to mention more than one wife to deal with and a son who planned to usurp the throne from the one to whom it was promised.   David ruled over Israel for 40 years.

He had times of great blessing and closeness with YHWH, but he also sinned.  King David knew how to pray . . . We are blessed to be able to read his prayers and undoubtedly all can relate to at least one of his circumstances. The Psalms are the spiritual solution the many emotional issues that plague humanity.
I will declare the decree: YHWH hath said unto me, Thou art my Son; this day have I begotten thee.  Psalm 2:7

Gender vs. Sex

Let me tell you just a few things I've observed in all this "transgender/transsexual" hype.  This coming from a woman who has struggled with her own femininity without ever feeling I was in the wrong body.  I haven't been watching "Call Me Cait" or whatever the show is, but I did see a trailer on the big swim suit episode.  In one minute, I saw why Bruce Jenner doesn't even think like a woman.  For most real women, past 35; choosing a swimsuit is the ultimate in dreaded events, and a very, very private matter.  He simply doesn't think like a woman, really doesn't look like one, and clearly doesn't sound like one.  This being said by a sturdy, pick-up truck driving, do-it yourself former tomboy, that jokes about singing bass.  I was born a female, and am 100% female.  I've discovered that all of the not so traditional interests I have, like operating a chainsaw, homesteading, and home improvements have absolutely nothing to do with sex or gender.

San Francisco is known for being cutting edge when it comes to gender confusion issues, and it seems one school is starting very young, as in elementary students.  Bathrooms will simply have no sexual distinction whatsoever.

Now, on to this young man in Missouri who was making a production out of gym class.  He raises several questions that simply cannot be answered by this LGBTQA (more alphabet) . . . Agenda.  First, he claims he's been "out" gay first, then transgendered for 4 years.  With his family's support in this.  Why is he wearing a wig?  Why isn't his hair long?  Hair grows about 1/2" a month, he surely would have some serious locks by now.  The next big statement only served to prove how little like a female he actually thinks.

Here this young man is given private accommodations for changing and showering, but he doesn't want that!  Any real teen aged girl would jump at the chance for private accommodations through PE class.  The memory of dread of PE and locker rooms is quite vivid for most women.  Not that we were actually damaged by it, but it's just the way teenage girls are.  Teenage girls are self conscious about their bodies and want all the privacy they can get!   It seems, and I can't speak for guys, but it seemed the enthusiasm for the sports or activity superseded all details.  There was never a tone of dread when the guys said, "Time to hit the showers."

The fact that this young man is making the issue he is and even saying the girls are the ones making a big deal out of the situation, reveals clearly how self-centered he truly is.  One of the girl's fathers referred to the situation as an "intact male" using the girl's locker room.  I can assure young Mr. Perry, he has a witness that he has male genitalia, and his statement about the locker room proves beyond a shadow of a doubt, he's not a female at heart.

On a grander scale, we need to assess the definition of democracy . . . the rule of the majority.  If the "democratic progressives" change the rules to accommodate 1 individual, and disregard 200, then by definition the democrats are no longer representing democracy at all!

Aging

Several years ago, I gave some serious contemplation as to how my parents were aging.  When my grandparents were in their 40s, that seemed old, but then, my perspective was that of a child, and society had a different aging standard in the 1960s.  Anyone over 35 was "old establishment."   From the time I was twelve, I was looking forward to 40.  By the time 40 came around for me, it was fantastic and didn't really seem so old, after all.  It was in the next couple of years as my parents were hitting 60, that age seemed to be the new aging standard.  Either one was a young 60 or an old 60, and my parents are one of each.

In my early 40s, 60 really wasn't much of an issue, and I've always been more like Daddy than mom. I guess I just figured I'd be a young 60, but the other night, I got a wake up call, in the mirror.  As I stood at the sink, washing my hands, in the mirror; my great grandma was looking back at me.  Seeing the image of Daddy's grandma startled me, immensely.  I remember Granny, but she was much older than I am now, when I was born.  I shook it off, as best I could, and headed to bed.  It hadn't occurred to me that Daddy might be the exception to his family rule, or that he'd simply aged better because of his very active and athletic lifestyle.  Then there is the fact that men do tend to age better than women . . . think Paul Newman, Cary Grant, Sam Elliot.  Those men could still be the "leading man" while their female counterparts of the early movie days were relegated to support roles.

Sleep was a bit restless that night, as I considered a bold fact.  I'm less than three years from 60.  Although genetics will be an obvious factor, I still have a choice as to how 60 is going to hit and fit!  Vanity is not the issue, my endurance and activity level is my concern.  I remember several years ago, crying to Abba about having given Mr. B the last of my "good looking years," to which my Heavenly Father responded, "No, those were over before you met him."  Touche'!  Except for that one bout of self-pity, since following Messiah, I've been much more concerned about the beauty of my spirit.  I do want to reflect the glory of my Heavenly Father in my countenance.  The recent revelation that my hair is no longer salt & pepper, as well as more than a few aches and pains with rain coming that same night, caused me to evaluate a few other things that night.

Last year, right before Yom Teruah, I'd planned to do some things differently.  How many of those "good intentions" had I implemented?  As I laid there in the dark, evaluating my checklist, the stretches and increased walking hadn't exactly come to fruition, but HalleluYah!  I did have peace in the acceptance and resolve of a few other things . . . The ministry outreach has expanded exponentially and I think I'm more prepared than when I first heard to do so.  So, now that Yom Teruah is approaching once again, I'm repenting for my failure to accomplish some of the intentions.  I'm careful in regard to vows, but I'm not so sure Abba draws that line in my semantics, so it's time to get serious!

I'm not at all upset about growing older.  I've been counting on experiencing "my youth renewed" as found in Psalm 103.  I have no intention or desire to look 30, but I often think of doing chores and milking goats 20 years from now.  I want that.  I want to be able to do that.  I want to walk the half mile lane picking blackberries when I'm pushing 80, if my numbered days reach that point.  I want to still have a garden.  There is no need for the redeemed remnant to deteriorate with age.  I want to wear out, not rust out!  I can't expect Abba to renew my youth if I don't make a point to remain active.  If I'm not a young 60, the chances of being an active 80 will be drastically diminished.

My hair color and features are what they are, but I do have a choice in my activity and energy level.  The truth is:  I'm not getting any younger, but there is an element of choice in how gracefully I age.

A Realization

A check in my spirit began to gnaw a while back, but I wasn't really sure what it meant.  I knew it had to do with Goshen, but just, well in my usual coping manner, got busy and tried to make sure I didn't commit whatever might be causing the check.  I figured if I was real busy on projects, I wouldn't be guilty of whatever had caused Abba to first give my heart a tug.  I knew it had to do with the place here, but it seemed to also have to do with Sukkot and the five fold ministry.

The "door of invitation" is not mine to open or close!  Suddenly, the reality that Sukkot was called for Jerusalem and trying to make it happen here, in Goshen would cheapen the entire observation.  He didn't tell me to advise everyone to buy tickets to Jerusalem; rather He said those who were led to be here would come without formal fan fair, but simply be led and drawn.  What a note of relief for me, as I am a social, mainstream, dork, lacking skills of small talk . . .

I really wanted to please Abba, still do, but the realization that He made me the way I am, doesn't call for a remake in every aspect.  I am not a socially needy person.  I can read and write with little human interaction for days on end.  I get up early, pray, have my devotions, do chores which involves talking to Abba, Messiah, and the critters, come back in and start working.  When Mr. B does get up, he doesn't say anything or even acknowledge me.  I'm not anti-social, just used to being non-social and shunned, I guess.  I was really concerned that folks might come and be very dissatisfied with me.  That's on old discomfort that, thankfully, is now only a small part of my life with just a handful of people.

Without worrying about how to do this, I simply told Abba I had truly embraced the idea of hosting a Sukkot gathering, but I knew this divided house would not be a comfortable atmosphere for guests.  It was at this point, I simply shrugged my shoulders and determined to trust Abba regardless of how things looked.  As it turns out, this isn't such a convenient location for distant folks to come, and there are several gatherings scheduled in many areas nearby.  My hostessing is unneeded, but my enthusiasm to share is being directed to surrounding areas, solving both problems.

I'm a pretty well behaved guest and definitely a gifted talents coach, so I'll be sharing outside of Goshen, which solves the divided house issue as well.  Our King is just so smart!  

Prayed Up

Have you ever realized in dealing with someone, that you just weren't "prayed up" enough for the task?  I addressed rejection in the article for Preservation, but sometimes folks don't reject and just go away.  And sometimes folks aren't rejecting at all, they are simply in need, and sometimes they are exhausting.  It sounds like my social life has been difficult this week, but it hasn't, not at all.  Perhaps, I'm finally at peace with some of the old struggles and ready to address them outside of my own head and heart.

Being "prayed up" is definitely the answer to life, be it in good times or bad.  As a matter of fact, according to Scripture, it's often the good times that take our focus away from time with our Heavenly Father.  I remember a conversation with one of my daughters years ago, in which she informed me, she didn't have a real interactive relationship with G-d, didn't want to bother Him much so she just prayed when she had problems.  I told her, He likes to hear from us, so if problems are what motivates us to pray, we should expect problems in our life.  Now, in retrospect I should feel honored in that she basically has the same relationship with me.  I hear from her when there's a problem . . . yet I digress.

I've been coming into a fuller understanding about being "prayed up."  I used to feel that I had to be prayed up to "deal" with some folks, and I did!  But I knew Abba had a bigger plan for me than that and a greater purpose.  I want folks to be blessed in being around me and I want to be able to reach out in the Name of Y'hshuwah in the power of YHWH to offer healing and deliverance.  I want what happened in Scripture to happen now!  And I want to be a part of being used in that happening.  I've also come to realize there is a change of direction in my focus now, regarding being "prayed up."  I want to be so intune with Abba, I feel His heartbeat for His child in need.

Those are easier words to say, than discipline to enact.  When this began, and it's been some time in the maturing . . . not there yet, but it began with me giving up my prayer agenda . . . To feel our Father's heartbeat, we have to be "on the same page," and He's not moving to our page.  We have to come to Him, fully without reservation.  We cannot be emptied out, while we still have our "wish list."  Our only desire must be for Him and His Will.  Even in my desire to be used by Him, I cannot have a preconceived notion as to what the results should be.  I can ask for the healings of others and speak deliverance for those who are in bondage, but it is by His power and His alone that comes.

There is no place for my idea of what would be best for someone when it comes to asking for Abba's touch. Sometimes it may seem that someone needs healing, but they actually need deliverance, or simply to stand the test before they see results.  I prefer to have things happen NOW!  Abba sees what all needs to happen before we get to what I see as the end results.  Being "prayed up" has brought new meaning to walking in His confidence as well!  Thankfully, since I had zero self-confidence that has not been a matter of confusion.  If I have any confidence at all, it is in Him.

"Prayed up" now means emptied out . . .

Focus

It's been a tough week spiritually . . . growing pains.  I shared a word recently about being content, with Scripture reference from I Timothy and Hebrews.  Wouldn't you know it, I'm content in what I have, materially, well actually, I could have less and be just fine, but I found myself wandering through the archives of my emotional disappointments.  There are a few areas of my life that just didn't turn out as I'd hoped, and yet they are as good as they can be under the circumstances.  Most of the time, I maintain my contentedness in Messiah, by focusing on the goodness of YHWH, and that is amazing!  His goodness is beyond what we can even give thanks for . . .
                                
What I have realized, were words out of my own mouth.  Focusing on disappointment or being discontent actually robs us of present contentment and worse, being used of Abba.  When I'm in my bad place of archived disappointment, I'm really ineffective in the "here and now," and certainly for the Kingdom.  I've also discovered a situation that is unpleasant, yet I choose to be drawn in.  How ridiculous is that?  This soul searching business on my own, is a poor use of time and energy.  That's exactly what I said as I was speaking!  As it turns out, I've been given the opportunity to prove that again in my own life.  It wasn't until I was writing this article that I realized something in me that really needs to GO!  I still choose self-deprecation in personal introspection.  I'm not perfect, but I do too much repeated self-blaming and the cost is simply too high.

The past is truly the past and it's been forgiven and forgotten by my Heavenly Father.  Who do I think I am to bring it back up?  As for the failures, yes, I have failed.  The only way to avoid failure is to never attempt anything!  There are things in my life that I cannot fix, change, or make go away.  That is a simple fact.  Another simple fact is, my failure rate has markedly decreased since following Messiah.  With that knowledge, there is no reason for those things to control any of my focus or require any of my time and energy.  Some might say the enemy was attacking me for speaking the other day, but I don't think so.  The enemy is something I do not choose to give time or focus.  Yes there are demons and there is an adversary, but he's been defeated.  I know Ephesians speaks of a spiritual battle, but this particular battle still lies within me to make a choice, and I have!  Now, with that choice must come disciplined application!

This difficult week has produced some growth in that, when these failures do come to mind, I simply give thanks that they are indeed behind me and I've been given grace to walk on through.  Even when my testimony didn't turn out as I was expecting, Abba will still bring beauty from ashes.

To proclaim the acceptable year of YHWH, and the day of vengeance of our Elohim; to comfort all that mourn;  To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of YHWH, that he might be glorified.  Isaiah 61:2-3.