A check in my spirit began to gnaw a while back, but I wasn't really sure what it meant. I knew it had to do with Goshen, but just, well in my usual coping manner, got busy and tried to make sure I didn't commit whatever might be causing the check. I figured if I was real busy on projects, I wouldn't be guilty of whatever had caused Abba to first give my heart a tug. I knew it had to do with the place here, but it seemed to also have to do with Sukkot and the five fold ministry.
The "door of invitation" is not mine to open or close! Suddenly, the reality that Sukkot was called for Jerusalem and trying to make it happen here, in Goshen would cheapen the entire observation. He didn't tell me to advise everyone to buy tickets to Jerusalem; rather He said those who were led to be here would come without formal fan fair, but simply be led and drawn. What a note of relief for me, as I am a social, mainstream, dork, lacking skills of small talk . . .
I really wanted to please Abba, still do, but the realization that He made me the way I am, doesn't call for a remake in every aspect. I am not a socially needy person. I can read and write with little human interaction for days on end. I get up early, pray, have my devotions, do chores which involves talking to Abba, Messiah, and the critters, come back in and start working. When Mr. B does get up, he doesn't say anything or even acknowledge me. I'm not anti-social, just used to being non-social and shunned, I guess. I was really concerned that folks might come and be very dissatisfied with me. That's on old discomfort that, thankfully, is now only a small part of my life with just a handful of people.
Without worrying about how to do this, I simply told Abba I had truly embraced the idea of hosting a Sukkot gathering, but I knew this divided house would not be a comfortable atmosphere for guests. It was at this point, I simply shrugged my shoulders and determined to trust Abba regardless of how things looked. As it turns out, this isn't such a convenient location for distant folks to come, and there are several gatherings scheduled in many areas nearby. My hostessing is unneeded, but my enthusiasm to share is being directed to surrounding areas, solving both problems.
I'm a pretty well behaved guest and definitely a gifted talents coach, so I'll be sharing outside of Goshen, which solves the divided house issue as well. Our King is just so smart!
Showing posts with label spirit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label spirit. Show all posts
Thursday, August 20, 2015
Monday, April 20, 2015
Self-Control
Self-control seems to be pretty rare when it comes to the fruit of the Spirit. There are so many ways we seem to be able to justify a lack of control by calling it "righteous anger" or "protecting others" or even "the truth hurts." Sometimes any and all of those can be the case, but not nearly as frequently as we like to rationalize. I've heard some very harsh things said, cruel actually, and the person just shrugs and says, "I was only being honest." There are also many behaviors in our society that are "excused" by labels, as if that removes the personal responsibility. Sadly, in many cases, we spiritualize "the flesh" and that is far from producing the fruit of the Spirit.
The area of self-control in which I struggle the most, is my tongue. Between some personal situations, and of course social media, I've come to understand the power of silence, but it takes a great deal of self-control at the time. Actually, the self-control I've been gaining through the Spirit, is the absence for the need to be understood, accepted, or have the last word. The only thing about my entire life and being that needs to be understood by another, is the amazing awesome message of the Good News. YHWH says His Word is final. When that sank in, I realized, trying to have the last word is playing G-d . . .
I once wrote a poem about the fruit of the Spirit, and the last verse went something like this . . .
Dear Father, it seemed as if there's been no progress,
Producing the fruit of the Spirit cannot be done by mental fortitude or "turning over a new leaf," but by surrender to YHWH. I'm not sure I have the words, yet; to accurately convey what I mean, but I'm going to try. I cannot make myself produce the fruit of the Spirit, none of us can. I can, however; discipline myself to "stay out of the way" and not become defensive or offensive. I can be disciplined by Torah [the school master] as Paul called it, to want to observe Abba's Instructions more than I want to defend myself or my own ideas . . . but it truly takes the mind of Messiah and the words of Torah written on my heart, which are both given by the Spirit of YHWH not produced in my own power.
In my case to control my tongue, I have to be very careful what thoughts I entertain. That is up to me! When I surrender my right to ruminate and discipline myself to take my own thoughts captive, the thoughts no longer hold me captive. I have found the previously listed fruit of the Spirit have been instrumental in producing self-control. They appear to be in an order . . . Abba does all things decently and in order.
We so often, at least I do, picture gentle rains and glorious sunshine for fruit production, but there's more. My heart has to be "good soil" and like it or not, there is fertilizer involved. It's so easy to remain calm and appearing to produce beautiful fruit, but when circumstances stink, the real production takes place, or not . . .
It's easy to love someone who loves me. It's so easy to have joy when I'm out for morning chores with birds singing and animals surrounding me as I say the Shema. With no television and no rush hour traffic, peace is nearly a given. The first three in the list seem easier, in that we can find a "happy place," often alone or with our special folk, but then . . . in the list is longsuffering. Some translations use the term, patience, but that's a rather flowery way to gloss over the true meaning. Longsuffering, is much more accurate. I can tell you, the longer you kick against that lesson the longer the suffering situation will remain. It seems in my life, longsuffering and self-control are quite intertwined.
There are two things I say for victory, when the temptation to lose self-control of the tongue is presented. First and foremost is the prayer of Psalm 141:3. I ask YHWH to "put a guard over my mouth." The second, I try to say to myself, but a couple of times, it's actually been stated aloud in the circumstances. "I do not want what is bouncing through my head to come flying out my mouth."
The Spirit of the Living Creator has really brought me to the point I do desire His Will over mine, even in circumstances I find adverse. It hasn't happened all at once, and it still doesn't happen 100% of the time, but it truly has become my heart's desire.
The area of self-control in which I struggle the most, is my tongue. Between some personal situations, and of course social media, I've come to understand the power of silence, but it takes a great deal of self-control at the time. Actually, the self-control I've been gaining through the Spirit, is the absence for the need to be understood, accepted, or have the last word. The only thing about my entire life and being that needs to be understood by another, is the amazing awesome message of the Good News. YHWH says His Word is final. When that sank in, I realized, trying to have the last word is playing G-d . . .
I once wrote a poem about the fruit of the Spirit, and the last verse went something like this . . .
Dear Father, it seemed as if there's been no progress,
When I lipped off the other day.
I know it appeared, I still lack self-control,
But You know, I had so much more to say!
In my case to control my tongue, I have to be very careful what thoughts I entertain. That is up to me! When I surrender my right to ruminate and discipline myself to take my own thoughts captive, the thoughts no longer hold me captive. I have found the previously listed fruit of the Spirit have been instrumental in producing self-control. They appear to be in an order . . . Abba does all things decently and in order.
We so often, at least I do, picture gentle rains and glorious sunshine for fruit production, but there's more. My heart has to be "good soil" and like it or not, there is fertilizer involved. It's so easy to remain calm and appearing to produce beautiful fruit, but when circumstances stink, the real production takes place, or not . . .
It's easy to love someone who loves me. It's so easy to have joy when I'm out for morning chores with birds singing and animals surrounding me as I say the Shema. With no television and no rush hour traffic, peace is nearly a given. The first three in the list seem easier, in that we can find a "happy place," often alone or with our special folk, but then . . . in the list is longsuffering. Some translations use the term, patience, but that's a rather flowery way to gloss over the true meaning. Longsuffering, is much more accurate. I can tell you, the longer you kick against that lesson the longer the suffering situation will remain. It seems in my life, longsuffering and self-control are quite intertwined.
There are two things I say for victory, when the temptation to lose self-control of the tongue is presented. First and foremost is the prayer of Psalm 141:3. I ask YHWH to "put a guard over my mouth." The second, I try to say to myself, but a couple of times, it's actually been stated aloud in the circumstances. "I do not want what is bouncing through my head to come flying out my mouth."
The Spirit of the Living Creator has really brought me to the point I do desire His Will over mine, even in circumstances I find adverse. It hasn't happened all at once, and it still doesn't happen 100% of the time, but it truly has become my heart's desire.
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