I don't talk much about it, and I don't have any success in this particular life experience, but I do know a thing or two about marriage . . . I have cumulative experience in EPIC FAIL! Suddenly though, in this past couple of weeks, I've gained a new perspective, and revisited an old one.
Marriage, even a bad one is still a covering. Years ago, I was so sure the last one was going to be "the one." Well it is . . . the last one! Even though Mr. B and I are not one in spirit, there are many benefits this situation affords regarding the service to which I'm called. Once I realized my old exit route, divorce; was not an option in this case and got over my sniveling and whining, I began to see things differently. This past couple of weeks, I've gained amazing new insight. When I listen to other women discuss their lifestyle and marital considerations, I really have it pretty easy. Mr. B. doesn't want to deal with me most of the time, which means I have a great deal of time that is unencumbered. As long as I fix meals and keep the laundry clean, I can spend the rest of my time on the work to which I'm called. It's almost like being single, except, I've finally recognized the marital perks.
In setting up this community, there is nothing hindering any newcomers from coming aboard. Men, women, singles, couples, there is no appearance of evil, and no reason for misunderstanding. If I were single, with the way things are in the world today, I wouldn't be able to establish this community. Certainly no single men could come on board without dowry in hand . . . I don't have that kind of faith, and I don't know any men who do either. Then there's the whole gay presumption issue now, so the same gendered ministry team would still raise questions. Single women offering ministry beyond children would not be well received either, and this is quite remote for people to bring their children and drop them off for a Bible lesson . . . so, it's all starting to make more sense. It would be great if I was already part of a team, but since this is Abba's plan, He already knew and continues to know how it will unfold. He really doesn't have to keep me clued in.
Being in an undivorced, spiritual nonunion, there aren't the social expectations and awkwardness in the advances of potential suitors . . . yes even at my age. LOL The social engagements or family obligations of actually being a couple are frequently avoided. This is kind of like living in a dorm with no common interests . . . I can't speak for him, but I'm very thankful he wasn't all fired-up mega-mess like so many were back then. I didn't get dragged through the Word of Faith movement or the Mega-church Motivational stuff. Even though he really hurt my feelings in the beginning, it was a relief when the truth came out. At first it seemed rather odd, but it's been this way so long, it actually seems right for the plan.
This "arrangement" has also served to protect me from folks who are not to be here, that came scoping their opportunity. There will be no "take over" of this mission. I'm still believing for a 5 fold ministry to gather and I've got the round table ready. In looking at marriage in Scripture, many of them were simply arrangements for a bigger purpose . . . This princess is ready to host a gathering. Singles, couples, it doesn't matter. The foundation is in place that there will be no appearance of evil, and only expectations of service to Abba.
No comments:
Post a Comment