Pet Names

I have a confession to make.  When I was a young princess, I dreamed of a relationship/marriage in which my husband would use names of endearment when speaking to me or about me.  I'm realistic, I wasn't expecting it all the time, but I hoped . . . somebody would call me, "baby."  I'm not speaking of intimate moments, and it didn't have to specifically be "baby," but just spontaneous random expressions of affection.

A friend wrote a blog a couple of weeks ago on the subject of love, that I found very insightful and positive, but it also got me thinking in a negative vein about love or the search and definition I've had.  In my younger years before I began following Messiah, I was very selfish in relationships. I wasn't the materialistic kind of selfish, but emotionally.  I worked, I didn't demand a princess life; far from it actually, but I wanted to be appreciated and shown that appreciation with pet names of endearment, but I never told anyone.  That's not entirely true, as I told a few fellas along the way, who were "just friends" as we discussed our hope in partners, but never considered each other as that potential person.  Yet, with the men who I actually planned a life with, it was never mentioned, and that was selfish.  It was as if I set them up to guess what would make me happy.

All these years and divorces later, it seems evident that I don't seem to be the kind of woman that evokes the thought of a pet name of endearment in the mind of a gentleman.  The few men along the way who did use pet names, were seriously not my type, so . . . that blog got me thinking of my "selfish settling . . ."  Because that's exactly what it was.  Not that a pet name should be the foundation of a strong relationship, but it caused me to look in the mirror and ask an horrible question.  How many people did I hurt and how many lives did I influence negatively by my participation in relationships in which I did not belong?

Not that I'm so important, but some bad timing and wrong relationships have markedly affected the world.  Abraham springs to mind, regularly on that subject.  King David is mentioned as a man after Yah's own heart, but Scripture also gives details that his household, at times, was hell on earth.  I entered into covenant knowing, there would be a void, yet I said nothing.  Who did I think I was?

I was truly hopeful in my last attempt at marriage, as he did speak of spontaneous expressions of affection, but that was apparently just talk.  He had an expression, "attababy" which he used a couple of times referencing me.   Unfortunately that's the term he uses when someone messes up, much in the same way the cafeteria erupted in applause when someone dropped their lunch tray at school . . . So many things I thought I wanted or needed in a relationship, have simply lost their appeal and given way to purpose completely outside of a relationship.  My current circumstances do not afford a reprieve or respite and certainly offers no terms of endearment, but this life is temporal and I have an everlasting promise.  All overcomers have a new name, that our Heavenly Father has chosen.  My Bridegroom has a special name for me!

He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the hidden manna, and will give him a white stone, and in the stone a new name written, which no man knoweth saving he that receiveth it.  a promise in the Revelation