The house is clean, and that makes me happy. I wish it would stay like this until I clean for the autumn High Holy Days, but alas . . . I do know it will stay cleaner this spring and summer than it did last year, though. I even cleaned a closet that I hadn't intended to go through. Oh, I of course, vacuumed and all that, but suddenly Sunday night after publishing the Goshen Gazette, I just felt moved to sort through some clothes I hadn't worn in awhile. I got rid of quite a few tops that just weren't going to be practical any more. I kept thinking I'd be wearing them at some point, but after this long, that point has not come and someone else could be getting some good out of them, now. So most of my silk blouses are now property of the local Thrift Store. I did keep all my yellow tops though, for sentimental reasons! Yellow has been my favorite color for years and years and now instead of rose colored glasses that cloud discernment, the yellow reminds me to stay in the light! It was at that point the illumination hit me!
WARNING: This blog will now be addressing the mature subject of feminine foundation-wear. I am not exactly built like the average woman, and finding over-sized tops is not an easy venture, especially in Second Hand stores, so I was delighted to be putting together a rather large donation of blouses in good condition! The memory then entered my thinking about finding a great bargain on some foundation garments last summer. For those who may or may not know, good foundation garments for well endowed women can run between $50 and $80 each. Due to the cost, the difficulty in finding them, and my self-consciousness, I usually wear them completely out. Three things happened this summer, however; that all accumulated before me to change a basic perception I've had of myself for more than 40 years.
First, when I got the great bargain this summer, by mail order, my granddaughters were here and love to open packages, so since they asked, I of course, let them open the package. Their mom, who enjoys a very slight and willowy figure, took the opportunity to mock, which she calls humor. She put on one of the new items and then told my granddaughter who was standing near where I keep the dish towels to hand her a couple of towels. With that my granddaughter headed down the hall to get bath towels. I called her back, which just added to the "hilarity" . . . and amazingly, I lived through it.
Then there was the amazing artist who illustrated my website and when he was trying to get me to give him permission to use a picture of me, I suggested a caricature. I told him to feel free, and well "Liztoon" is "alive" and a "full presence" at The Land of Goshen. I actually felt good about myself as a cartoon. It gave me enough distance from my own poor self-image that I began to open myself up to hear YHWH.
My third experience was in speaking with a friend by phone who had seen one of my vlogs or videos and we got to talking weight. She just casually mentioned, very kindly the "probable difference" in our shapes and nothing more was said on the topic. It was then that YHWH told me, "I made you the way you are. I created your body." So, I've given all this background to share this fact.
I was blessed to receive a bargain this summer, and I don't need to wear out the other ones, before I open these new ones. It dawned on me, there are never brassieres this size at thrift stores for probably the same reason I've had, and I do not think it's due to lack of need. They are expensive, and not quickly replaced. So with that, I saw the difference between being a good steward, being a self-conscious idiot, and hording.
Somewhere there may be some woman who has had the same thoughts I've had all these years, or a young woman who is developing a poor self image from peer comments and advertising. Our society is inundated with images of what a woman is supposed to look like, when clearly none of us look alike! YHWH didn't use cookie cutters in creation, He created each of us uniquely, and we peculiar princesses need to realize peculiar and unique can be special. I feel this is a double portion blessing that will give beyond what I have received. I got great bras for less than $50.00 each and I'm finally over being self-conscious about my appearance. And I'm truly glad to think some woman will just be thrilled to find foundation garments and silk blouses for a buxom princess.