Finally, what I see in the mirror is a reflection of who my Creator made me to be, and I like it. He's still working on me, I haven't arrived, but I'm happy with the light in my eyes, the laugh lines in my countenance and the permanent furrows in my brow from thinking. Granted I have some wear and tear that I'm not so proud of, but that's all in the past, the distant past, and the only time that comes up is by virtue of the adversary. As I looked in the mirror this recent birthday, I was happy to see the injuries from my fall were healing nicely and appeared to be leaving no scars. I was beyond delighted that Abba had comforted me through that difficult time of recovery while I was trying to keep up and tend to newly arriving livestock.
As I looked in the mirror, the single regret I had was that I had not appreciated the way Abba created me, sooner. All of the things that had made me stand out in the past, are a part of who I am and I'm just so sorry, I was always trying to diminish my uniqueness and fade into the wall paper. I am who I am. I am a tribal, earthy woman, who is creatively practical, and a noticeable presence. My hair is long and silver and I have no desire to dye it or cut it. I like what Proverbs says about silver hair. I like what Paul said about a woman's long hair. It does feel glorious! I've been self-conscious about being brown and buxom for over 40 years, and suddenly, at 57, it's great! There really is a point to this, beyond "loving my self" in print. I got to thinking what an insult it must have been to our Creator to always be trying to change His handiwork or not being content in my own skin.
Was I being covetous of what He'd given others and how He'd made them? Without a doubt, I could be a little lighter, not in skintone, but weight wise, however; I cannot be a size 6 without being self abusive, and unhealthy. There's absolutely nothing wrong with fuller figure sizes, and for those like myself, not all bodies are a perfect match top and bottom, either. There's nothing wrong with different sizes between a top and skirt, or altering a dress to accommodate our figure. Scripturally, we are called to be modest, but thankfully, model sizes are not required. I read an article this week about the CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch. He says he doesn't make large sizes because he doesn't want his clothes on imperfect bodies. Here's a quote from one article . ". . . A lot of people don’t belong [in our clothes], and they can’t belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely.” I'm happy to be excluded and I wouldn't encourage kids and grandkids to want his clothes either!
Back to being gracious and grateful regarding our Creator's handiwork. This is not a new age notion that we must all love ourselves, but more importantly to be content with what G-d has given us, including our body. I wish I'd have appreciated my uniqueness sooner. Unfortunately, like so many for so many years, I bought into the social definition of what it is to be beautiful, and the pressure to have the perfect body. I don't need physical perfection when I've been blessed with the presence of the One Who is Perfect. He's placed in me a wholeness that I didn't even understand a person could have. He made me specifically for a purpose and a plan. Nobody else can be who He made me to be!
No comments:
Post a Comment