Traditional Marriage vs. Scriptural Marriage

I'm sharing this information because next month is officially "wedding month" in America. I'm also, personally, sharing this information based upon II Corinthians 12:9a And He said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for My strength is made perfect in weakness . . . Unlike many religious women, marriage is definitely a weak area in my life. I'm not giving advice about submitting and husband authority or any of that, because I can only speak of that which I know, and I cannot speak of that which I know not! I have made some acquaintances who are followers of Messiah and have recently become Torah observant, who seem to have successful marriages, but I don't actually know anyone who entered marriage as a Torah observant believer, so I don't even have referrals at this time. I'm not saying they don't exist, I'm saying I am unaware of them. This information is actually being presented to address the ceremony and covenant of the wedding itself for holy matrimony. These are just a few things I've considered that may help someone else avoid some pitfalls.

First, do a bit of Googling as to how many superstitions are involved in what we now call "tradition." I recommend avoiding those.

Second, I whole-heartedly suggest you do not get married on Shabbat, for a number of reasons, with the first one being, a wedding is all about the bride and Shabbat already has a purpose. Shabbat is a day of rest, and weddings are anything but . . . then there is the whole kindling of lights, etc. So, six other days are available.

Third, this is a fairly recent understanding to me, as in the last decade. If I was ever going to have a wedding again, I would not obtain a state license. Marriage before YHWH and a covenant with the state are two entirely different things. By definition, a license is special permission (usually in writing) to do something that is ordinarily not permissible. What G-d has joined together, does not need permission, but rather witnesses and celebration, which brings me to my fourth point.

Fourth, whether it's under a chuppah before a Rabbi or a Pastor at the parsonage, those individuals carry the religious authority in our country. You can ask them to officiate without a state license and write the date in your Bible and the congregational records. Rabbis will assist with a ketubah, and some Pastors may also. From what I've read, state licensure came about for interracial marriage, because it was forbidden in many states. Our government just sweetened the pot of licensure to entice everyone to subject themselves to oversight, by offering security and the supervision of assets . . . Congress is to make no law regarding religion, however; without something official, it's just co-habitation and that isn't spoken of well in Scripture. Even in the case of Isaac and Rebekah, there were witnesses and agreements in both places regarding intent and gifts in celebration. It was as if Abraham's servant officiated!

Fifth, if you decide to be somewhat unconventional and avoid the state sponsorship to your marriage, don't just make up your own rules if you want the blessing of our Creator on the union. Marriage isn't about sex, security, convenience, or compatibility, it's about being spiritually joined, in the Will of YHWH and there is no special dispensation for "doing it our own way." There is forgiveness, but I'd have preferred to have done it right and been blessed, rather than my own way which needed forgiveness.

Sixth,be careful where you get your marital advice, and how you apply it. Good advice on the wrong people or circumstances may be of no help. I've taken a lot of advice through the years and failed miserably. There are a number of people who are well intentioned, but are clueless, themselves. Then there are those who simply do not walk what they talk . . . they usually have the most advice.

Seventh and lastly, There's no record that Rome was overseeing the event . . . but Y'hshuwah obviously approved of a ceremony for marriage, in that His first recorded miracle took place at a wedding.

With all the information out there, and so many superstitions and secular traditions woven into a covenant designed by our Creator, avoid mixing holy with unholy. If "holy matrimony" is your desire, then be sure as you make your wedding plans, you surround yourself in prayer support. Make sure independently, and as a couple that you are indeed marrying the soulmate, YHWH has planned for you. Keep in mind, YHWH had your purpose and partner planned before you ever thought about getting married!