I've sort of wandered away from music and that's not been good, but it's been so hard . . . I've let the enemy steal from me. Musical talent is certainly not my long suit, but I do or I should say did have a song in my heart and was usually humming. Years ago, I prayed to be able to play the piano in a little country church. Adonai answered that prayer, and that's where I met my last husband . . . Music just hasn't been the same since.
Mr. B has perfect pitch. So perfect, apparently, he can't be bothered with actually serving in some sort of musical ministry capacity. He is, however; perfectly aware if I hit the wrong note or don't include enough notes. So music waned severely for me. I did have a small sound and broadcasting system, and several CDs, that played continuously, but he tweaked it, so it doesn't work anymore. After taking forced piano lessons and school choir growing up, it hasn't taken much criticism for me to just avoid the keyboard all together, and you know what. That's not anybody's fault but mine.
Upon giving up keyboard and CD sing alongs, I began humming. I used to go into the Tabernacle alone and play and sing, but I don't do that anymore, and I should. I can't blame others for what I'm simply choosing to not do. Even though I'm not terribly talented, I truly miss music, but I just can't bring myself to not worry about who is listening. My self-consciousness is quite deeply rooted. I've told myself that being self-conscious is still a focus on self, but I haven't made much headway.
Zephaniah 3:17 spoke to me some time back as I saw that Abba sings over me. I truly do want to bring pleasure to Him, and singing seems to be significant. It's time that my joy in YHWH overflows into joyful noise! Recently, however; I've noticed myself humming, once again. He doesn't require perfect pitch or four part harmony, just a joyful noise. That I can do!