What's A Princess to Do?

Realizing Purim and Hanukkah are not Feasts mentioned in Torah, I consider the style of celebration to be optional.   Some "Christian Hebrew converts" feel entirely too pious to even consider observing them.  While many traditional Jews go all out in celebration with extravagant costumes and desserts.  I guess, as usual, I fall somewhere between or perhaps outside of both.  On the Hebrew Gregorian calendar conversion, my date of birth fell on the 13th day of the 12th month back in the year of my arrival and that date just happens to be mentioned a couple of times in the book of Esther.  Knowing how easy is it to make spiritual matters about ourselves and our own interpretations, I try to tread lightly.  Purim, for me, is a time set apart to celebrate the power and deliverance of our Heavenly Father when we stand and in boldness speak out.

I don't participate in the full costume portion of the celebration, as that feels a bit like a Halloween knock-off or Mardi gras, but if my children were home, we'd have a "royal dress up day."  I used to have a tiara that was included in my hair style for the day.  Since Purim is not a Sabbath, there's just nothing that says "Princess" like accomplishing my everyday work wearing a tiara.  Sadly, in the last move, my tiara came up missing, and it's yet to be found.  I keep thinking I'll find it, or buy another, but that just hasn't happened, so this year I took a different approach.

Purim actually aligned with my birthday this year on the Gregorian calendar, so this year I decided to dress up  for the occasion.  I do make special cakes for each of the Feasts as well as the extra celebrations, but I'm not suggesting that to be doctrinal.  Cakes are not essential and Scripture even warned of the Israelites baking cakes in idolatrous rituals, so spirit check on that one . . . I don't bake often, so the difference between a regular meal and a feast at my table is, a feast includes dessert.  It's nothing more significant than that. Back to this recent Purim.

In observing this day,  I'd planned to watch "One Night With the King" after sunset the 4th, but already aware that staying awake through movies is virtually impossible, that plan was tabled.  Dinner was nothing fancy, but dessert was included.  After a slice of red velvet cake with a glass of wine, I'd hit my limit of celebration for the evening.  I awoke quite early, while it was still dark, to read the book of Esther.  Even at 3am, it really wasn't all that dark; as the full moon was so bright, there were moon shadows and the rooster was already crowing.  What a lovely way to greet the morning!  This was going to be no ordinary day.   Giving thanks for the day, I loaded a couple of goats for the auction, then later donned my costume and headed to town.  Being new to a full costume for Purim, I stayed in theme for the day.  I dressed as a middle aged farm woman heading to a livestock auction.

The goat auction really does have a cotillion atmosphere for me.  I don't make all that many purchases, but in the thousands of permanent buyer numbers, the auctioneer remembers mine.  Yes, it feels special!  In reality, my number is probably somebody's birthday or part of his phone number or address, but it feels special, none the less.  This night at the auction, I had a couple of specifics in mind, but no rush to settle for anything.


 Having chosen to use Bible names this year in the new herd arrivals, I continued that theme with the auction arrivals as well.  It only made sense when a big beautiful Oberhasli doe with regal horns, entered the ring with a little one in tow, I was probably looking at Esther . . .  Sure enough, and on the way home, I was pleased to discover her little one could potentially be the new herd sire.  I'd actually been looking for the last two years for an Oberhasli cross buck and was definitely wanting one for this coming breeding season.
Yah willing, the arrival of little Mordechai means the search for the herd sire has officially been accomplished.


 

Not Esther?

What woman doesn't like to feel a little "princessy" once in awhile.  I've never been one to enjoy the thought of just being ornamental, which as it turns out, is good.  Otherwise, life would have been a real let down!  Porcelain doll, I'm not, and kid gloves are not required but once in awhile, I'd still like to be "handled with care."  That is not a loaded statement or one of innuendo, just once in awhile, a little pampering would be nice . . . I think.  Not even pampering, just a comforting touch!  That's it, a comforting touch.  Again, let me reiterate; I miss ((HUGS))!

I've really been searching these past few years about the change I've sensed coming.  I almost wrote soul searching, and for a time, I was quite introspective, but that was years ago.  I've been searching and seeking Abba's answers in some strangely unresolved questions and situations for some time now, and all of the things He's brought to me and said, He'd already shown me, I just wasn't ready to see it.   As it turns out, after praying to "Live the Bible," Abba has shown me passages that were "all mine."  That's not to discount others, but simply passages that leapt off the page to me, for introspection, implementation, or experience.

In all honesty, I've not been the best of servants, but I've been outspoken and obedient to the point of being the target of false accusations and rejection.  I truly do seek Abba that I may handle it graciously, but it hurts.  It not only hurts my "human feelings," it hurts me that Messiah is disrespected and YHWH is discounted, as our society clings to traditions and self-defined images.  When I pour out my tears on my couch as David mentioned in the Psalms, more than once, I've told Y'hshuwah, I need to feel his strong gentle touch.  I need a hug!  I just want to feel his big strong carpenter arms around me, and hear Him say, "Well done, I understand."  It is then that he shows me, he is also hurt.  While I'm sniveling about hurt feelings from some rant; He suffered, bled, and died for me as well as that ranting individual.  He doesn't admonish me, nor condescend, but rather in His gentle, calming outstretched arms, I see the scars.  It certainly puts my "human feelings" in perspective.

So, being "princessy" in the fairy tale sense is not my call, but I do know, it's not the princess part that is errant, but the fairy tale expectation; that is.  Princess is not defined by earthly task or position, but rather simply by being a daughter of the King.  I still remember hearing a sermon based upon Esther 4:14, knowing it was spoken to me, personally.  As I reread Esther yet again, I rediscovered; her position as queen, not princess, was only for a greater work.  She was placed in an unequally yoked position.  Thankfully, my identity in Y'hshuwah has not been kept secret.  I've been able to be open about my beliefs, quite open about my call, and my purpose.

As I look out the window and listen to the sounds of the homestead, I smile.  This task to which I'm called, is the one for which Abba created me and equipped me.  I can't imagine existing in the "kept life" that Esther lived . . . in a harem.  Most of her time as queen was actually spent with tens, perhaps even hundreds of other women.  Oy vey!   How ill suited, I would be for that task.  Some days may become wearisome in the need to be strong and sturdy, but He provides the strength!  This is my place in the Kingdom for such a time as this.